Thursday, May 17, 2007

Random Musings on Ridiculous Things

Ok, so I'm taking a wee break from the excavation of my study. I should not be taking this break, as I didn't really get going on things until like an hour ago.

But anyway, I went to the gym this afternoon, and as happens when I'm sweating my ass off (I hope literally), my mind wanders to strange things. So the topic of today's musings was soul mates. I think this topic popped into my head because my friend A. is at the start of a relationship and my BFF from high school Disney Heather continues to go strong with her current boyfriend.

Now, I'm not one of these people who actually believes in soul mates. Or rather, I believe in them, kind of. I just don't actually believe in going out with them, apparently. For me, soul mates always are people who are just out of reach for some reason when it comes to things romantic. Thus, my soul mates have tended to be people with whom I am friends, or with whom I've had a brief fling and then they disappear. There's an instant connection, but that connection just doesn't translate into everyday life. So the two great loves of my life? Were they "soul mates" or did I ever think that they were? Totally no. The guy who I count as a half-love? Well, I do refer to him as my One True Love, so I suppose we were soul mates. But I've not talked to him since 1999, so there you have it with that.

But so when somebody talks about a person being his/her "soul mate" I'm always kind of confused when that person about whom they speak is actually the person with whom they are having a relationship. I mean, doesn't the everyday take the bloom off the soul mate rose? Once you get to know somebody, doesn't it become obvious the ways that one is not "meant for" the other? Maybe I'm just too practical. Or perhaps I've got the wrong idea about what a "soul mate" is? Hmmm. Interesting things to ponder while one is on the elliptical.

But then, I came home, and I got an email from A. in which she described the most horrifying thing that she saw at her sister C.'s house last night. Apparently, C. has jumped on The Secret bandwagon. The horrifying thing that A. saw? C.'s "vision board," a collage of pictures of this guy with whom she had a brief thing - never an actual relationship - with words cut from magazines like "true love" and "forever" and "passion" and "lasting love" and "commitment" - as well as pictures of wedding dresses cut out from magazines. Now, C. had told me that she thought this guy was her "soul mate" and while I didn't poo-poo that at the time (I mean, who am I to judge - maybe I'm just cynical?) I now think that perhaps people who believe in things like "soul mates" and The Secret might be totally delusional. I mean, what 35-year-old woman is making collages like that and displaying them in her bedroom? Now that is crazy, and you know it's truly crazy if somebody who calls herself "Dr. Crazy" says so.

Ok, back to the Study of Despair.


jb said...

Oh wow. Wow. Scary. Take out "The Secret" and that just sounds stalkerish...but "the Secret" is scary enough.... I don't know where to start. Yikes.

undine said...

Did you see this piece on Slate a couple of months ago? It's about a woman who began a stalker-like--er, "healing"-- journey to reach out to a guy from her past & has shades of "The Secret."

Sisyphus said...

I'm late to this whole "The Secret" thing (although Time mentioned her as a Important Person), but I must say from what you describe I don't even want to know about it.

Liz said...

That is just creepy. That's the kind of thing a serial killer does, isn't it?

Hilaire said...

Ew - that collage thing is insane.

As for soulmates, I had one. We had a three-year run. I can say that practical, everyday life was all soulmatey, actually. But then we had a long and terrible breakup process. I don't think you can sustain soulmates. Also, I think we were so intense and soulmatey that we were a bit freaky to other people...people have reminisced to me about how we were together, and I think some people were bothered by it. So, I'm happy to have been there and done that, and to be able to approach matters of the heart more realistically now!

AcadeMama said...

I never have been one to believe in "soulmates," especially in the smushy sense of the word. But now that I'm married to the only man I really ever could think of as "the perfect fit" for me, I realize that we're pretty soulmate-y. It's more like soulpartners, though..We've got this home team thing, and he's my co-captain, and it's really fucking great to have this man who's 100% my equal in terms of managing our household, our relationship, our respective goals, etc. The main thing that gave me "certainty" in choosing to marry him is that it [our being together] was just so damn easy - even when we fought/fight. So yeah, I think I believe in the soulmate thing...But collage making craziness based on The Secret?? That's just freaky!