Sunday, March 18, 2007

Slow Start, But a Start Nonetheless

Had to get the whinging off the top of the page. I do thank you all for the supportive responses, and again, writing that post really did help me to get my head around a lot of stuff. I'm still thinking, formulating a plan, but, for the moment, on to brighter topics.

I've made my list of things to do, I've accomplished three of them (and yes, one was showering, but come on - sometimes even that is an accomplishment), and now I'm on to accomplish more! More! (Yes, I'm trying to give myself a bit of a pep talk.)

In other news, it occurs to me that the ball of stress that I have become (knot in stomach, tension in shoulders, no appetite, too much caffeine), while totally unhealthy, may have the same result that becoming a ball of stress had in my first year of the PhD program: after that first year, I looked better than I've ever looked before or since. Stress as beauty regimen? Perhaps not wise, but nonetheless, if there can be any positive result of feeling this way, this is good, yes? And after that first year, I then had what I like to think of as The Golden Age of Crazy - suitors beating down the door, excitement, intrigue, all those things that make it possibe to sustain oneself in this otherwise monastic existence of Leading a Life of the Mind. Hmmm.... I am intrigued by the possibilities of this return to angst and desperation. Perhaps I will have my Second Golden Age of Crazy in just a few short months?

I'll tell you what: If I do enter into the Second Golden Age of Crazy, I'm totally cutting all my hair off. Not that it's long now, but it's been about 10 years since I had this haircut, and it really did look smashing on me, if I do say so myself. That said, I need to be a thinner me to rock that haircut, so the Dr. Crazy Stress Diet really might be essential to making that happen.

I wish it were about 20 degrees warmer outside. Spring is just not springing quickly enough.


Sisyphus said...

That looks cute --- I don't have the face to pull off hair that short. And you're lucky to drop pounds with stress --- as shallow and unfeminist as that sounds --- I always eat when I'm stressed or feeling overwhelmed. And I had a roommate in undergrad who had a very bad breakup, culminating in a "pining away" weight drop --- I must have gained 10 pounds in sympathy and trying to coax her to eat!

Silly anecdotes aside, I completely know how you feel and understand the urge to "postpone life" while working on what you can control. I like reading blogs like these (the "queasy" kind) to see how other people handle the balance of academia and personal life, since "official" material never addresses these questions.

And is there somewhere cool you can drive to and have a fun weekend and recharge? Or are you too far from even a medium-sized city?

Dr. Crazy said...

The sad fact, Sis, is that I'm actually in a medium-sized city, just one that's not entirely conducive to single 30-something socializing. So it's not that the place _itself_ is bad - it's that it's bad without a partner. That said, I am putting some things into play that may make it better - we shall see.

History Geek said...

Wish stress did that to me. I tend to eat when I'm stressed.

Glad to hear things are looking a bit brighter.