Sunday, June 10, 2007

I Am, I Am, I Am....


Somebody recently said something about me being a superwoman, or thinking I was a superwoman, or something. It may have been Infatuation, actually. But so I've been thinking about that comment a bit today, and thinking a bit about how I've conducted my life over the past few years, and I don't know, I suppose I'm feeling the conference come-down and so I'm feeling ruminative.

But so I don't feel like I'm trying to be some sort of superwoman. I really, truly don't. Most of the time when I decide to do stuff, I don't think a whole lot about all of the other things on my plate. Case in point: when I was asked to do a review this weekend, I immediately thought Yes! Yes! Yes! And I did kind of consider my schedule, but I never really think, "Oh, I shall be a superwoman and be super productive." Rather, I think, "Ooh! I'd really like to do that! Can I fit it in? Why yes, of course I can!"

But I'm coming to realize that some people do think that I'm a superwoman of some kind, or that I'm trying to be one. Medusa has remarked that I have more energy than most people (which again, is not something I believe about myself, as I have other friends whom I think are more energetic and much less lazy than I am - you know, those friends who work out at 5 AM and who are always scheduled within an inch of their lives and who have palm pilots and things and who only call you up when they're in transit from one engagement to another). Grad School Prof at this year's MLA seemed to think I'd done this exceptional thing by doing any of what I've done in the job I'm in (and this would be GSP who TERRIFIED me in my first semester and whom I really didn't say more than hello to out of that terror after that first semester, and I was, quite honestly, shocked by his praise, as really, I just thought I was doing what I was supposed to do). But so is Crazy a "superwoman?"

Well, as in the REM song, I really do think I can do anything. I also think I know what's happening. BUT, that's not my point, if you get what I'm saying. I've never been consciously trying to write my way out of my current job, nor do I take stuff on out of... I don't know... out of anything other than interest. I'm ambitious, and I am careerist to some extent, but I don't do what I don't really want to do. The problem is, I want to do a lot and so I do do a lot, which I suppose isn't really a "problem" except for that it means I over-commit myself.

But so I'm thinking about all this because I'm thinking about what lies ahead in the next six months. Here's what's going on:

  1. In the next two weeks, I've got to read a novel and write a conference paper.
  2. Then I go to England, give the papers, and then I go off traveling with G. (which will be, I think, an actual vacation, now that I think about it, and I don't think I've had an actual vacation since I went to Hilton Head with friends after my first semester in college. Yes, this is a "visiting a friend" thing, but as we're traveling around, I don't think that counts as just a visiting thing, but rather as a vacation thing.)
  3. I return home, and I then will have to deal with the book manuscript.
  4. I will also have to deal with syllabi for the fall (though, my procrastination of last week by working means that I will have less of that to do than I might have done. See? Procrastinating with other work! It is the way of the superwoman!)
  5. I have revisions do for a collection essay September 1, and so that will need to be done simultaneously with working on the book/syllabi.
  6. The review is due October 1, and so in the early weeks of September I need to read the book and then in the final weeks to write the review.
  7. The other short essay is for Spring 2008, so I suspect the deadline for it will be in October or November. Luckily, it's a teaching thing, and so it need not be super-research-intensive.
  8. Did I mention the book manuscript final deadline is in early December?
  9. Oh, and the MLA paper. Yep, I'm writing one of those. Gotta do research for that prior to December, even if I don't write it until the book is delivered to the publisher.
  10. And did I mention that I've got a new prep this semester? Oh yes, there is that, too. (Going to work on prepping/reading ahead during/after the trip abroad, but it will still be more work than a semester in which I didn't have a new prep.)
  11. Oh, and I've got another new prep in the spring, and really, I've got to start working on that in the Fall, too, really, if only to figure out book orders.
So yeah, it's going to be a BUSY six months. Oh, and there is that Fake Boyfriend hanging around. Now, as he is Fake, he only becomes an issue if he becomes Real, really, which while not outside the realm of possibility, if we look at my past history (and his, to be honest), the likelihood is that he will not, in fact, become "a real boy." But if he did, in fact, become Real, this would complicate matters, as it would mean some necessary travel during the fall - or if not travel, hostessing. But as I've got an internal deadline set on the Fake Boyfriend business (Aug 31, in case you're wondering), this will not stretch out indefinitely. Probably should mention the deadline to FB, but there just hasn't been a good time to do so as yet. Dammit. FB called me up and interrupted my blogposting. You can feel free to chastise him in comments.

1 comment:

Sisyphus said...

Do you still have that course-release -advising thingy that you talked about at one point? Or are you teaching your full load?

Which is just a way of leading up to: dang! How do you keep track of all the different impending deadlines? Do you ever completely miss one?

And I think it's interesting that to survive at a good grad school you have to be totally ambitious and organized and scheduled, but that many types of schools and programs then don't want that style after you've been trained in it for 8-10 years. What's up with that?