So yes, I'm back to the whining of procrastination. I'm trying to force myself to get into the groove and to hammer out this conference paper, but I just don't have ANY motivation. It's so weird - I should be excited. This conference is my Big Conference of this academic season, and it means I'm going to have fabulous international travel....
And you know, I've not even really gotten excited about the trip portion of things, and I leave in less than a week! I don't know what's going on with me. Some might put it down to burn-out, which could well be the case, if we're honest. I've been running on empty for about a year now. And knowing all of what I have to face upon my return isn't making it any easier to get it up for this. There's a large part of me that just wishes that it were already December, as then all of my things would be DONE and my life would be in some sort of stable order. As I think I've mentioned in a previous post or posts, I feel like I'm in a bit of a transitional place life-wise. Lots going on, lots of projects coming to an end, and lots of new things on the horizon. The problem is, I'm in the dead space in which I've got to finish the things that are coming to an end and to get the new things off the ground. I hate being in the transitional place. I like things to be fixed - clear. And things just aren't right now. Things aren't... I'm not able to control things right now. And I like controlling things. It's annoying when one likes to control things when one doesn't have the wherewithal to control them.
So yes, back to work. Sigh.
1 year ago