Giddy Crazy, Anxious Crazy

Well, I suppose that today begins the kick-off of the Month of Crazy - the one month I will have of this summer where work falls by the wayside (and don't even talk to me about the conference paper that remains unfinished, which yes, will have to be finished over the weekend thus cutting into the Month of Crazy), at least for the most part, and I allow myself to be the social animal that really I am when I let myself live in the way that is most natural for me. I've got a friend coming to visit for the next few days, and then after that I head to Hometown with the M-K, and then I'm off to the UK, and then I will go to a conference for 3 days and traveling around with G. for 10. Then I return to Hometown, at which time I will have some quality time with the Mom of Crazy as well as some Crazy Times with the Friends of Crazy (including A.! Who has recently had a second caucus with her Accidental Husband and things are going fabulously and they may in fact be One True Loves!), and then back home to begin on the Five Months of Insane Work.

But let's focus for a moment on the Month of Crazy. I'm really, really excited for all of the things that I will do over the next month, and I'm really excited to take a fucking break. I'm feeling pretty burnt out after all of the work-focused stuff that has preoccupied me this year, and I really don't feel like I've had time to just hang since I returned from Eastern Europe last June. That's not good for anybody. No, it's time for me to have some fucking fun - that's what I'm thinking.

So, the fun begins tonight.

That said, I'm also a little anxious about what all of this premeditated fun will "mean" in the grand scheme of things. One, it means I'm not going to be steadily productive, which will put me behind when I return to the grind at the end of July. Two, well, I've had a few times of premeditated fun in my life, and they often turn out to mark times of change. Not sure why that is, but often when I make the conscious choice to rock it out with the fun, this then ends up being the catalyst for big doings in my life in other areas. For example: Once upon a time, when I was in graduate school, my friends and I organized something called the Fiesta de Loca. That was pretty much my last true hurrah for about 3 1/2 years. True story. And that's just one example.

So I'm kind of wondering where I'll come out on the other side of the month of Crazy.

But no more time to ruminate about it now, as big thunderstorm is coming in and I'm stupidly typing this out on my balcony, so must close so as to save laptop from the rains. Maybe it will be less humid when the storm is done? One can only hope :)