Friday, April 06, 2007

Wanna Know Why I'm Crazy?

The Scene: Crazy on the telephone with her mother.

Crazy: Hello?
Crazy's Mother: Must be nice! I bet you were off all day today!
C: No I wasn't, we never get days off.
CM: Really? But I was talking to Molly and she said she thought you were off and that you went away for the weekend.
C: Well, Molly doesn't know Crazy. I never go anywhere because I never get days off of school.
CM: You're right. She doesn't know you. So, what do you think about American Idol? [insert long dissertation on the votes, why Sanjaya remains, how she is mad "that hussy" didn't get voted off instead of the "rocker girl," even though she didn't like "seeing that thing in her tongue when she was singing that serious song," blah blah blah... somehow she started talking about politics in the age of YouTube and MySpace.... blah blah blah....]
[Crazy spaces out of the conversation]
CM: Hey! What are you doing over there?!
C: Nothing. Ok, well I wasn't paying attention to you.
CM: I thought so! You're zoning out! I called you! You have to pay attention to me!
C: Look! It's been a long week! Do you know how many people I've had to talk to this week! I'm not really in the mood to talk to you right now!
CM: I don't care! I'm your mother and I'm waiting for your stepdad to get home to take me to eat something. You have to talk to me. Actually, no. You don't have to talk to me. I like Man-Kitty better anyway. Put him on the phone.
C: I can't put him on the phone; he's sleeping.
CM: Well, he must be tired. It's not easy to live with a person like you.
C: Thanks a lot.
CM: Oh, and I didn't tell you! I your Crazy Aunt called me [insert long disjointed diatribe about my aunt who is strung out on drugs calling my mother to rant and rave in disjointed fashion at her]
C: What? What are you talking about?
CM: Ha! I'm doing the same thing to you that she did to me!
C: ...
CM: Ooh! There's your stepdad now! Ok, I don't need to talk to you anymore!
C: Well, I'm glad I was available to help you pass the time.
CM: Yes! Isn't it great?! Byeee!


Seeking Solace said...

My mom is exactly the same way. Egad! No wonder why we drink!

Another Damned Medievalist said...

Oh. my mom only calls me when she is mad at my sisters. But The Child calls me and does this!