Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Random Bullets of Going on Shutdown

  • Ok, so clearly I'm powering up again. I really am a chatty person.
  • You know what part of the problem is? The way that one absorbs the angst of others. All of my students are *freaking out* because of all the shit they have to do. It's like that transfers itself to me, adding stress when I've really got enough of my own, thankyouverymuch.
  • I realized today that I'm giving a talk "in the community" a week from tomorrow. I'm SO unprepared. I also don't remember where I put the directions for where I'm giving this talk. Damn.
  • I didn't grade tonight. I'm going to pay for this tomorrow morning, as I cannot not give back the things I've got. I am so, so fucked.
  • I did, however, finish rereading the novel I'm teaching in my upper-level course. This was a pleasure, even if it meant I had to realise that the last two novels I'm teaching in the course each begin with failed suicide attempts (something I somehow didn't realize when I put the books on the syllabus). I fear that my students may put on their evaluations that Dr. Crazy is really fucked in the head (this, after all the Crazy Protagonists that seem to be the theme of the semester).
  • At least the failed suicides are funny. Or at least I think so.
  • What five words would you give to describe yourself if somebody whom you don't really know asked you that question? I went with "funny, sarcastic, silly, driven, and serious." I'm not sure how I feel about the list, but I was put on the spot.
  • In other news, Trans Am. Yeah, after the very fun outing on Sunday, I nevertheless feel like he's not for me. While I do have the ability to break up with people who are not my boyfriend, I'm not sure what to do with him exactly, as I think he really is sweet and likes me, etc. I've thought I'll give it one more outing and then decide, but I fear the decision is already made. I think, in spite of the exoticness of being driven around in a hot car, I don't ultimately care enough about his car in order for him to be an option.
  • The class I'm teaching in the fall that I've mentioned a couple of times and that's advertised next to the Bible class is, at this early juncture, doing very well enrollment-wise. Better than any upper-level class I've taught before. I'm feeling a little angsty about it because a) it's brand new b) I've got some fellows following me to this class from another and I fear that they are less interested in the course and in taking another course with ME and c) it's brand new. Like brand new for me and brand new for the university. The university in a very conservative part of the country with very conservative students. I'm hoping that those who enroll aren't expecting... something other than what I'll actually be teaching. If they are, well, this course might end up being a DISASTER. Though in some ways it will help that I've got the fellows I mentioned previously enrolled, as they might be able to convince the others that I'm not a godless whore. Or that I AM a godless whore but that such a thing is "cool."
  • Why didn't I grade tonight? Just why?
  • Can I also just say that I truly hate Jael from ANTM and that I was happy when 50 Cent pushed her into the pool tonight? I mean, it was a dick move on 50's part, but still. She deserved it.

Yeah, I think that's all. I may still be on shutdown, even though I think I'm not. I suppose that will become clear in the coming days.


Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

On the new scary class issue -- been there, done that... it seems to help if you are very open about the stuff people find offensive from the very start. I tell them on the first day, not so that they'll be driven away but so that the ones who stay aren't compelled by financial aid considerations to stay and make the rest of the class miserable.

Having fans is ok -- they help set the tone in the class and you can use them to answer questions until you get to know the rest of the class.

Comet Jo said...

Not only is having fans good, being a fan is good: certainly my own college career was much better when I decided that I like to hear what some people had to say regardless of what it was about, and other people weren't interesting even if I was really interested in the subject. (Hence I took a lot of classes in medieval history, which turns out to be really interesting.)