Thursday, October 16, 2008

Crazy Hearts FB

Even if he's not perfect, even if he makes poor choices, even if he sometimes sucks, even if he worries that his suckitude or his poor choices make him lame.

That's what it means to heart someone. And that's how Crazy feels.

This doesn't mean everything will work out perfect, or that things will even work out great. Things may not. Things often don't. But how I feel about him? It's unconditional. And it's about what's best for him, and not about me being my typical selfish self. Not that my typical selfish self doesn't exist in this moment, but my typical selfish self just isn't the point. And that's important to say sometimes, that one's selfish self isn't the point. And I think it's important to feel that way sometimes, too, that one's selfish self isn't the point. And so that's how I feel. Period.

What does that mean? In practical terms? I'm not sure. But in emotional terms I think that feeling is important, and that it's worth it to articulate it, however inarticulately.


Comet Jo said...

That's sweet. Does he read your blog? (I think you've talked about this, but I can't remember exactly what you said.)

Dr. Crazy said...

He does and he doesn't. I asked him if he'd read this, and he hadn't. So now he will. The point was more that I needed to say it more than I needed to say it to him, and after the fact I almost poofed it for being too cheesy, but then I decided that even I need to be cheesy sometimes. And so now he'll read it, and I think that's good. He really is awesome. Except for when he sucks :)