[Extract of phone conversation with FB last night]
Crazy: So it was revealed today that my chair is calling together a committee to revamp the curriculum for the major.
Crazy: So here's the part where you're supposed to tell me not to volunteer for this committee.
FB: Of course you shouldn't volunteer! Are you crazy! Without tenure! Extra work! [bluster bluster bluster]
Crazy: I knew that's what you'd say. And you're right....
FB: Of course I'm right!
Crazy: But I really want to have a say in how the thing is revamped.... but I guess whoever's on the committee will bring whatever they come up with and we'll have to vote on it as a department anyway....
FB: EXACTLY. You DO NOT need to be on this committee! You know I'm right!
Crazy: You just keep telling me that.
[As I'm putting the final touches on the Binder this afternoon, less than 24 hours after that conversation, the chair sends an email asking for volunteers.]
Crazy writes: I'd be happy to serve, if you need me :)
[When Crazy walks into the department office to turn in her Binder.]
Chair: Oh! Look at that! Are you finished? [pause] I need to talk to you!
[Crazy walks into Chair's office]
Chair: So when is your book coming out?
Crazy (slightly confused): Ummm... next month....
Chair: That's so exciting! You must be thrilled!
Crazy: Well, yeah... You needed to talk to me?
Chair: Now, it's horrible, when you're a person who does so much and does it all so well, because it means that more just gets asked of you, when other people who don't do anything never get asked because they don't do a good job....
[Crazy sees where this is going, she thinks]
Chair: And I don't know if you were even interested in being on the ad hoc committee about the curriculum.... but... [spit it out! thinks Crazy] I wanted to ask if you would chair it.
[Let's just pause for a moment and note that I really wanted to chair this committee if I was going to be on it, but that's crazy talk so I only ever admitted that to myself silently and never thought to actually say it out loud to anybody.]
Crazy: Chair, have you checked your email since you got back to the office? I already volunteered to be on the committee, and so of course I'd be happy to chair it!
[Why did Crazy want to chair it so badly? Because she wants to control the meeting schedule so that it's convenient for her. And because she wants to make sure the meetings aren't lengthy and rambling affairs where things aren't accomplished. And because she wants to decide the curriculum for the major, because it's part of her whole "world domination" scheme - one has to start small when one is aiming for "world domination."]
And rather than make a nice and healthy meal for myself, I've been eating Cool Ranch Doritos (a last hurrah before the healthy eating goes into effect tomorrow) with dip (in for a penny in for a pound - pun intended) and writing my syllabus for my new course next semester.
I, my friends, am an ass.
5 years ago