So, as you may recall, this year all of my resolutions centered around three things: fitness, finances, and fun. I've done well with the finances and the fitness. I'm making steady progress on paying off debt, and fun has certainly been a priority (though of course one could always have more fun, but basically I feel like I'm not in some sort of fun deficiency anymore).
The fitness thing though.... let's just say I've kind of fallen apart on those goals. I feel like a fatso who doesn't take care of herself. That sucks. I can blame lots of things for this.... but the reality is that this is the first thing to go when I'm in work-hard-play-hard mode. Oh, and also I really like food and drink. This does not combine well with my lack of interest in exercise and my great interest in lying around and doing nothing.
I know, I know: you have to find exercise you enjoy! The more you do it, you become addicted to it! Fuck that. I feel like the people who say that are also the people who insist that not eating meat is no big deal and easy to do. In other words: these are the people who have a natural propensity to these things, and they are not my people. My people are the kind of have a natural propensity to lying around on their asses while eating nachos with all the fixings.
The problem is, my people end up being fat-asses with health problems, whose clothes don't fit properly, and I don't want to be one of those people.
And so, I have three months and a bit until 2008 is over. The book is done. The Tenure Binder is done. And for a while I've been wondering what my "next project" is with the completion of those things, and I have decided that the "next project" is Operation Fitness. It has to be done. And no, I don't like the idea of it really, but I also know that if I apply myself to this project with the same intensity that I apply myself to those other sorts of things that I will see results. I am hoping that with results will come greater ambition to continue on the path of fitness, instead of what typically happens with me, which is when I see results I take that as a sign that I can stop doing the fitness-related activities. Yes, I realize that my typical response is counter-intuitive. I am not totally without self-awareness. So it's a matter of really committing (and oh, how that is difficult for me to do) to this project and of keeping my natural impulses at bay until the fitness crap becomes second-nature, or at least a habit.
1 year ago