Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Bitchy Crazy: a Multiple Choice Quiz!

1. Why is Crazy bitchy?

A. It is related to the lunar cycle. The alignment of the planets astrologically may also be involved.
B. The weather went from miserable summer to shitty Cold-November-Rain-y weather in a day's time. I hate the Cold November Rain, although I do enjoy singing those three words in the Axle Rose voice. Still, I enjoy that less than singing "I'm Goin' Hungrraaaay" in the Eddie Vedder/Guy from Soundgarden/Guy from Alice in Chains voices. That makes me laugh even when I'm by myself. "I don't mind! Stealin' bread! From the mouth of decadence! (I'm goin' hungraa-aay!)" Ah, am laughing right now! Is hilarious good fun to sing that earnest, earnest song!
C. Nobody does what Crazy wants them to do. Just nobody. And dude, everybody should just do what I want because my way is always better than everybody else's.
D. I've spent the past two days conferencing with students from LITERATURE classes about their abysmal WRITING. Note: THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT AN ARGUMENT IS BEFORE THEY GET TO THIS CLASS. Lord. I'm a masochist or something.
E. All of the above.

2. In what ways does Crazy demonstrate her bitchiness?

A. By freaking out in meetings.
B. By writing lengthy emails to students who accuse her of unfair grading when they don't do well. (Do you ever notice students never make the same accusation when they do well? Interesting.) These emails are for nothing because these students decide to drop. Well, except maybe the lengthy emails make them drop? Who knows.
C. By picking fights with people who really didn't do anything in particular to inspire such vitriol. Indeed, those people just were doing what they've been doing, which while annoying, isn't exactly a change in behavior that warrants a bitchy outburst.
D. By actually taking the time to meet with students individually to explain all of my discontent with their work.
E. All of the above.

3. Will Crazy remain Bitchy forever?

A. Perhaps. Her mother's pretty bitchy, and she's a lot like her mother.
B. Probably not, but she needs to relieve stress somehow or she'll keep behaving in this bitchy manner.
C. Crazy will stop being Bitchy for approximately 3 weeks, and then, as if on a schedule of some kind, she will become bitchy again.
D. Crazy will remain bitchy until the book is totally done and until she knows what's up with the handful of job apps she sent out.
E. Crazy will remain bitchy until she wins the lottery, quits her job, and buys a villa in Italy.

There were going to be more questions, but I'm too bitchy to be that creative.


Susan said...

Grading sucks. Teaching would be so much more fun if there were no grading.

My new policy: Students who wish to contest their grade may re-submit their papers to me within 72 hours of my turning papers back. They must also submit a well-reasoned argument as to why they deserve a better grade, pointing to specific passages where they're actually doing the things I've commented they're not doing, etc. And any paper submitted is completely regraded, which means they may wind up with a lower grade.

So far it's working.

Nik said...

I am also going hungry. Monthly.

Sisyphus said...

I too love to sing along to earnest flannel-wearing indie boys. Hee!

Baruch Grazer said...

Late, self-centered comment: I haven't sent my job apps yet, and it's making me bitchy.

DAG said...

I believe that's Chris Cornell and Layne Staley.

I say the answer to each question is E.