Monday, October 15, 2007


I need to be throwing myself into work. That was the plan for today, right? But the work I have to do is grading. I don't want to do that.

I did catch up on some emails, which was both good (because hey, I caught up on the emails) but also annoying because one of the emails was related to that essay I talked about last week. It turns out, the reason that the feedback was so mystifying to me was because I didn't have all of the information I needed when I did the revision in August, so of course they had a ton of things they wanted me to do, because I hadn't known I was supposed to have done them. Frustrating. Also frustrating is that after I got their clarification, they still said they'd like the revised essay (which really requires substantial work since I've got to integrate all this stuff I've never considered before) before the semester's end. I replied that it's just not possible. I've got the final book deadline in December, I'm giving a paper on brand new research at MLA that I've yet to begin working on, I'm teaching a new prep this semester and new stuff next semester that I've got to start working on now in order not to die.... Yeah, there's just no way. So, I had to stand up for myself and just explain that I can't do it, and I hate not being able to do things. I will say, though, that I've been doing quite a bit of standing up for myself lately - more than ever before - especially since my birthday. Maybe turning 33 has turned me into somebody who doesn't put up with shit? If so, I'm thinking that this has many benefits, even if it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable and bad.

I am also annoyed that the Man-Kitty is ignoring me today. And that I don't have anything yummy in the house to eat (although I've got tons of food - just nothing seems appetizing - and actually, nothing seems appetizing in the world either, so maybe I'm just not in the mood for food, even though I want to eat?)

Ok, I think I have to grade now. Sigh.


Life&Times said...

The nice thing about kitties is that when they ignore you, you can go pick them up and make them pay attention... and they can really do very little about it. Actually, when my cat is ignoring me, it's my favorite time to annoy him! ;)

And good for you for saying no. You shouldn't feel bad-- because you would have been able to do it had they not dropped the ball in the first place!

Sisyphus said...

Grading --- gah. Good for you for standing up to them. Or Them, whoever the case may be.

Belle said...

Grading sucks. I've been successfully ignoring my stack since Thursday. Ah, that feels good.

A friend told me she spent the first 30 years of her life living and doing for others, and got to spend the next 30 living/doing for self. Maybe your no is part of that?