1. My uncle once grew huge marijuana plants in his backyard. No lie.
2. Never in my life have I thought sky-diving would be "fun" or "exhilerating."
3. When I was five I apparently ripped up an art project in kindergarten because it wasn't "perfect." This then led my teacher to tell my mom she needed to make sure that I didn't think that I had to be perfect, because I was far too hard on myself.
4. High school was very fun, but also I felt weirdly like an outsider, even though reports from later in life indicate that I was ridiculously popular, even though I didn't live in the right part of town, have the right friends, or do the right clubs. Who knew?
5. I will never forget standing on the balcony of a Hapsburg palace watching the sun set with a glass of wine in my hand, just after introducing myself to a Fancy Person who would later become one of my most cherished mentors.
6. Once I met Harold Bloom. He looked like Jabba the Hut.
7. There’s this boy I know who works at NASA and was actually instrumental in putting the space shuttle back into space.
8. Once, at a bar, I told a man who was approximately 6'5" that he needed not to touch me because he didn't know me. He looked at me like I was the anti-christ and left the bar. Apparently, I'm scary when strangers touch me.
9. By noon, I'm wondering why I've wasted so much time, except for on the days when I'm teaching in the morning.
10. Last night I watched a Lifetime Movie featuring Laura Leighton of Melrose Place fame called Love Notes. It was awesome.
11. If only I had the power to rule the world and to make everything that I wanted happen exactly the way I want it to happen.
12. Next time I go to church will probably be Christmas or Easter. That's the kind of Catholic I am.
13. What worries me most is whether I'll ever find a solid romantic relationship that is fulfilling and all that, especially given this stupid profession.
14. When I turn my head left my neck hurts a little bit. I think I slept funny.
15. When I turn my head right I see two sweet kitty cats.
16. You know I’m lying pretty much whenever I'm lying. I'm a shitty liar.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is Depeche Mode. Sure, they exist in the 21st century, but they're nowhere near as cool.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Iago's wife, Emilia. Or perhaps Kate, of Taming of the Shrew.
19. By this time next year I will have tenure, baby! (crossing fingers, knocking wood)
20. A better name for me would be ... what's a better name than Crazy?
21. I have a hard time understanding the traffic circle on my campus. When everyone uses it propoerly? Excellent. When they don't? Road rage.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll kill myself. I know that makes me seem like I'm anti-life-long-learning and all... yeah, I am. Fuck more school. I've got a Ph.D. It's enough.
23. You know I like you if I actually invite you to my house.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be my Mom and G.
25. Take my advice, never go to graduate school in English if you're not prepared for years of under-employment.
26. My ideal breakfast is ... Well, it depends. If I'm hung-over? Eggs over-easy with hashbrowns and sausage. If I'm not? My own homemade french toast (made with challa bread) with bacon and with a side of melon.
27. A song I love but do not have is "Get into the Groove" by Madonna. I know. I suck.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to the art museum. It's the bomb.
29. Why won’t people stop talking on cell phones in high-traffic areas, like stairwells, in front of my office, and, I don't know, THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET?
30. If you spend a night at my house a kitten might wake you. Deal.
31. I’d stop my wedding for a death in the family.
32. The world could do without self-righteous vegetarians and non-smokers who insist others must conform to their life choices when not in the homes of those who espouse these beliefs.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than have a house infested with cockroaches.
34. My favorite blondie is me, really. I know, that's lame,but seriously. The blondness of me is great.
35. Paper clips are more useful than staples that don't go all the way through a stack of paper.
36. If I do anything well it’s cooking.
37. I can’t help but feel righteous indignation about any number of things.
38. I usually cry right before my "lady time," I blame the hormones. I also usually cry at The Ghost Whisperer. The people crossing over make me emotional :)
39. My advice to my nephew/niece is ... I have no such advice because I have no nephews and nieces.
40. And by the way, I've got nothing. I'm lame. What can I say?