Monday, August 04, 2008

Lo, It Is a Dark Day Indeed

These are times of treachery and betrayal, readers. The traitorous Dr. Crazy has allowed the Interloper to return, and I, the Man-Kitty, do not - do NOT, I say! - approve. Angry and afraid, I have barely been able to take care of the most basic necessities of life, and my bathing schedule has been thrown off completely. I lie here - near the door, at the point in the abode furthest from that dastardly fiend whom my mother seems to enjoy so greatly - and I seethe.

I have no allies here. The young Mr. Stripey does not recognize the Interloper as an evil, evil enemy to kittenkind. Oh no. Mr. Stripey thinks he's just fabulous. He's all, "Let's play, Interloper! I love you, Interloper! You're the most fun, Interloper!" And he slept just fine, thank you very much, and rather than plot with me, he claims that it's his duty to "be cute." I realize this seems difficult to fathom, so I provide you with evidence:

He would also like to note that he feels that he has grown to the size of an actual cat. I believe that this is debatable.

Readers, please, support me in my hatred of the Interloper. Those whom I have loved most have forsaken me. Mr. Stripey and Dr. Crazy think that the Man-Kitty needs to "get over it" and they refuse to acknowledge my complaints with any sort of seriousness. The Interloper is the only one who seems upset at my deep, deep loathing of him, but this gives me only very little satisfaction. I do not want his disquiet so much as his annihilation. And yet, I am but a small cat. How shall I accomplish this without reinforcements? Please join forces with me as I prepare to do battle. Or, at least, wish me luck.


Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Oh, Man-Kitty --

First of all -- Mr. Stripey does look a lot like an actual sized cat -- at least in the photo you posted here. Of course, it will take him quite a while to reach both your size and your wisdom -- and even then, your nanny-cat duties will be necessary.

As for the interloper -- couldn't you give him a small break? You see, I was the interloper to a cat named Piccard (yes, after the Star Trek captain... my hubby was and is a nerd). When I moved in with hubby, Piccard tried to drag my things to the door -- for years. It was quite sad, because I loved hubby and his cat -- but his cat couldn't love me. It isn't easy to be the person the cat hates, and perhaps the interloper's distress at you not liking him is a sign of a good character? Perhaps one you could tolerate?

Nik said...

I sense deep within your rhetoric, Man-Kitty, that there's an upcoming turn-around in your feelings about the Interloper. It may not be love but perhaps a Zen-like acceptance of change. Follow the wee one into The Way. Mr. Stripey accepts change as would a child. Or a Buddha. Which you kind of remind me of anyway.

Dr. Crazy said...

He kind of reminds me of Buddha as well :) I certainly hope he is on the way to acceptance, though I wouldn't bet on it. Dude, he growled at ME today, which he's never done before.

IPF- his nanny-cat duties will certainly be necessary, though the cutest thing that happened today was that Mr. Stripey made a point of going to him and licking the Man-Kitty's head to comfort him in his Time of Trouble. Those two are totally BFFs, which pleases me to no end. And Mr. Stripey is getting to be cat-sized (my first realization upon returning from Lebanon, and not merely a trick of the camera). If he keeps growing at this rate, he shall be the size of a small tiger when he reaches adulthood.