Tuesday, February 28, 2006

On Finding Out You Went on a Date with an Insane Person

So, communication has been closed off between me and the Catholic. His reason? "The physical distance between us was too great." What? Huh? He lives 15 minutes away from me. I had planned to close him off as well, so I'm not particularly concerned at the outcome of the situation, but the reason is just... bizarre. Why not go with, "I'm just not ready to take the next step," or "My life is too busy right now"? Wouldn't those have made more sense? I mean, I understand that Dr. Warren doesn't leave an option of, "I'm freaked out and I am too much of a coward to ever see my date again," but really, why pick something so clearly bizarre and random? Or maybe by "physical distance" he means something weird and metaphysical? At any rate, so ends the tale of Dr. Crazy and the Crazy Catholic.

You may wonder what else is going on in eHarmony-land, for the suitors there do abound. Here's an update:

The Businessman - I don't know whether I like him or not because we've barely corresponded - he's pretty much jumped straight to "let's meet for a real conversation." I'm actually ok with this, after the debacle with the Insane Person above. Anyway, I responded positively, so we'll see if/when this happens.

The Consultant - I think I kind of hate him, and I probably should dump him, but I'm kind of fragile after the weird being dumped so I will not do that today. And maybe I should give him about 45 seconds more of a chance?

The Computer Engineer - I kind of like him, except I think he might not be a very good writer. He answered his essay questions very, very quickly (like not even with a complete sentence, let alone multiple sentences) and now I await an actual email from the dude. He's cute though. Edited to add: Yep, he's not a very good writer. You know that's the case when they begin their first "open message" back to you noting how obvious it is that I am an English professor. Nevertheless, he did answer my question about astrological sign, so I think he has a good sense of fun and whimsy. I will remain open-minded for the time being, I think, but to all of y'all who are thinking about dating English professors, PLEASE don't reveal that you're insecure because of our language skills. It's such a turn-off. If I hear one more time that somebody will have to watch their grammar around me, I might scream.

The Greek - Is clearly going on lots of dates with others because he's yet to answer my essay questions.

The Accountant - I think is also going on dates because we're stalled at "must haves/can't stands"

The Hot Teacher - I'm sure is going on lots of dates, because he's really hot.

The IT Consultant - Who I think might be a real asshole because he makes a point of saying that he doesn't want any women who "are into playing games." Those guys always seem to be real assholes, imho. But hey - it never hurt to answer some multiple choice questions.

I really can't believe that this is my life. It is so lame.


BrightStar said...

This surprises me -- the turning insane -- since you said that fun was had and there was not awkwardness. :(

Dr. Crazy said...

Well, I've been thinking about that. Wouldn't a normal response to this sort of a situation actually be a little bit of healthy awkwardness? I think it would. Thus, i think the lack of awkwardness has everything to do with the fact that the Catholic is a weirdo. I was sucked in.

BrightStar said...

I think what stinks is not getting to know the Real reason. That would bug me, especially when he chose "the physical distance was too great," which is clearly not true. He could have at least chosen something that could have possibly been true.

Some awkwardness can be healthy, but I think a lack of awkwardness is not necessarily an indication of a problem. I guess... hmm... depends on what is meant by awkwardness. Like nervousness? I was totally nervous when I met my boyfriend face-to-face (we met online and talked for a LONG time before meeting in person) -- so nervous I could barely look him in the eyes because I liked him too much and I couldn't believe we were face-to-face finally. Okay, in that case, that kind of awkwardness was healthy and understandable. But I don't know if it was necessary, if that makes sense.

Dr. Crazy said...

I see what you're saying. I'm actually ok with not having a "real reason" because that has meant that I can make up a reason of my own. You know what I think it is?

drumroll please....

I think he's married. I think he's a weird creepy married guy. I mean, we didn't talk on the phone, he was very cagey about giving me personal information, and I don't know... I feel like that's what the reason is. And think about it: eHarmony has a rep for being less meat-markety and it explicitly says you can't be married if you sign up (though of course, how can they check?) and so it would be the perfect place for a weird philanderer to find women to prey upon. Either that or he lives with his parents. That's my option B.

I think a little awkwardness is normal/necessary - I think how smoothly this whole thing seemed to go was because he made it feel smooth. I think, in other words, that if one has an agenda, one can make things not awkward, whereas if one is really into the whole thing, there would have to be a little awkwardness.

missscarlet said...

Word to Brightstar on the frustration of not knowing the real reason. Whatever that reason is, he's definitely a coward for not being straight with you. So thank god you got out now, before that horrible moment when he'd take you "home" and you'd see that he sleeps on a mattress on the floor of his mom's basement.
I wonder if the internet attracts a higher percentage of wishy-washy boy-men? Are you finding this?
Dr. Crazy, your life seems lame now, but in the future, you will write a book about it and critics will call you charming and incisive. Which you are.
missscarlet, an entertained new reader.

Terminaldegree said...

That is sooo frustrating.

I finally e-mailed a guy the other day to say, "uh, was it something I said?"

He replied that I have a cat. He hates cats. (Match dot com asks what pets you have.)

So why did he contact me in the first place then?


You've had better luck with eHarmony than I did. In three months I got ONE match. With a pastor of an "alternative" church. Who had creative facial hair, multiple piercings, and that whole "I'm trying to be a badass" thing going on. Gah.

csdorotoc said...

so why wouldn't he want to get some first? wouldn't that be the point for a married guy? usually when it goes well and I don't want a second date (as a guy) it's because (being a great guy) I don't want to (eventually) hurt any feelings. But if I were a creep that wouldn't matter. Thus the more reasonable explanation is (sorry) he wasn't in to you. just a theory.

BrightStar said...

I am cracking up at the idea that he lives with his parents and skeeved out at the idea of him being married.

But MissScarlet is correct -- if he is a tool, it's better to find that out now.

Manorama said...

Catholic Guy's excuse was totally lame. Who needs him.

Dr. Crazy said...

Yes, totally lame. Not that into me? Perhaps. Although much of his behavior does not make sense if indeed that is the case, and so if it is in fact true that he wasn't that into me, then I think he really is psychotic. In all cases, I responded to him with the form response for the "final message" of "good luck with your search." What that meant was good riddance!

Dr. Virago said...

Dr. Crazy, I swear to god you are living my past life. And I really did laugh out loud at your update to the computer engineer. I have said these very words: If I hear one more time that somebody will have to watch their grammar around me, I might scream.

If you're still overwhelmed by the number of matches/conversations, you could use that as a sorting mechanism, because the ones who enjoy reading or any kind will never, ever say that.

I also suggest that if any guy says on the first date, "I've never met a woman like you before," that you run for the hills.

seadragon said...

I'm now rooting for the Hot Teacher. I've given up on substance. (maybe he has substance, but who cares?) Go, Hot Teacher, go!