Ok, so I recently received notice that a proposal that I sent off for a conference this summer was rejected. I want to write about this, but I also feel like to do so is potentially a bad idea. Or at least to write about it in the way that I've been thinking about it would be. I suppose I'll limit my comments to the following:
If this rejection is any indication of the prevailing way that people consider this topic (which, of course, it may not be) then I should give up on the idea of revising my dissertation.
Of course, I'm not going to do so, but I do think that I'm going to make a vow to myself never to attempt to woo the people who organize this conference with my ideas again. The way that I think about this topic doesn't work for them - which, hey, probably explains why I've ignored this conference for like the past 7 years, but doesn't explain why I've felt guilty about ignoring it - and it's ok that it doesn't and there's no reason why it should. It just really bites (which is the only way I can think to describe it) that the ideas that I've spent the most intellectual time and energy on (i.e., those related to my dissertation/book manuscript) are deemed completely uninteresting while ideas that are entirely thrown together receive praise. It really makes me question the value of investing immense amounts of intellectual time and energy on anything.
3 years ago