Well. I checked my account today, and I had like 12 dudes to deal with. All I have to say is, UGH. It's hard to be excited when one feels overwhelmed. Also, I would really like Suitor #1 to suggest a meeting. If he doesn't in his next note to me, I think I'm going to suggest it. I'm sick of writing notes, already. What if we don't even like each other in person? I mean, I'm not horrified by his picture or anything, but still. This writing nonsense is just that - nonsense. What if he has a squeaky voice or a twitch or something? I need to know that.
In other news, I got rid of both the chiropractor and the guy who wants me to send him flowers. You know how I kind of hated them? Yeah, my instincts were pretty dead on with both of them, I realized when I got their most recent missives. Apparently there is something to this guided communication thing.
Oh, and somebody said they were intrigued with the guided communication. I'm not sure if I've described it before, so I'll do so now. Here's the way it goes:
- One person contacts another and initiates communication with five multiple choice questions. A sample question (you have a bit long list to choose from) would be: "If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond? A) stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me B) find a spot at the back bar and relax alone, letting him/her work the room C) strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends D) I would ask my partner if I could skip this particular event E) [fill in the blank with your own answer].
- If one likes the person's profile who has initiated contact, you answer his/her multiple choice questions and send back five multiple choice questions of your own.
- If all goes well at this point, you trade must-haves/cant-stands with each other.
- If all is STILL going well, you ask each other three short-answer questions. You can either make up your own, or you can choose from a long list of potential prompts.
- If all is STILL going well, you enter into "open communication" which works like email.
So far, there are pros and cons to the guided communication. One pro is that it is possible to find out pretty quickly whether somebody really isn't for you. For example, with the sample question I provided above, a big red flag for me is if the person says they'll cling to me the whole night. (My preferred answer is that they'd like me to introduce them around but that they can then hold their own, if they write the answer in, or that they can just strike out on their own, if they choose one of the answers provided.) Another pro is that you can stop communication before you've really had extended interaction with the person, and so it seems much less painful. I've had a few dudes close off communication with me without us even communicating, and that hasn't upset me at all. Also, I've closed off communication early on with dudes and I don't feel bad about it. The cons, however, are that it does feel a bit like taking a test, and it's not particularly spontaneous. People tend to ask the same 5-8 questions for both the multiple choice and the essays, and so I feel like I'm just giving everybody my resume or something. (Incidentally, the feeling is not unlike the feeling I had when I was on the market and interviewing - a feeling like it was hard to sound genuine, even when being genuine, because you were repeating the same crap over and over again, and also a feeling like you aren't entirely sure to whom you've communicated what information, though that is helped somewhat by copying/pasting the same answers to the stupid questions that they ask.) Also, I think that the guided communication does make it somewhat weirder when you enter into open communication, though I've got a form email for that, too, now. At any rate, it's all very interesting, though at this point it is seeming like it takes a lot to make it to the stage where one might meet a person. It seems like there is a lot of room for rejection in the early phases of communication, and so perhaps one would meet fewer people ultimately than on other sites even though one is communicating (at least briefly) with a lot of people. I don't know; I'll have to see how that goes.
So, my current list of suitors (in order of level of communication, from open communication to multiple-choice questions) is as follows:
Suitor #1 - The Catholic. He is quite darling in email, but we've got to move on pretty soon, I'm thinking.
Suitor #2 - The Businessman. I don't feel strongly about him one way or the other. We have, though, entered into "open communication."
Suitor #3 - The Pilot. So lame. Still hasn't responded to the essay questions. I may dump him soon.
Suitor #4 - The Comuputer Guy. I'm trying to decide whether I'm so shallow as to reject him on the basis of picture alone. I think I might be that shallow. We'll see. I think for now I'll continue communication.
Suitor #5 - The Greek. I was really excited when he contacted me, because I had read his profile when it came in and he sounds awesome. Also, he's 6'2" which is my favorite of all possible heights for a man. I haven't seen his picture yet, though.
Suitor #6 - The Hot Guy. Well, or at least he's really photogenic. Though he does have horse teeth a little bit (ala John Elway). But yeah. He's good looking. Quite. I'm not, however, sure about his taste in books.
Suitor #7 - The Consultant. I wish I knew what he was consulting about. At any rate, I have no definite ideas about him yet.
Suitors #8 and #9 - Both are shorter than me. Is this going to be a deal-breaker? I haven't yet decided. I feel like that's a dumb thing to care about, but I just don't want to feel like I'm humungous next to a guy I'd be dating. And I feel like I would. Can I get past this?
So yes, that's the update. And unless something very exciting happens (like the arrangement of a meeting between me and one of these yahoos) I will not clog the blogosphere with anymore boy-crazy posts this week. I do think about other things, you know. (Or at least I should think about other things....)