Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Usurpers and Interlopers


Hello, readers. It has been quite a long time since I, the Man-Kitty, have written to you. I am feeling a deep sense of anxiety and unease on this Wednesday, for my world, it shall soon be in upheaval. I have heard tell, first and foremost, that I will be getting a new "brother" on the morrow. At first, I thought, "This shall be exciting! perhaps 'brother' is human code for a new sort of kitty snack!" As the situation has been explained more thoroughly, however, and as I have noticed new items slowly making their way into the House of Crazy, it occurs to me that this "brother" of whom my mother speaks may be staying for quite some time, usurping my territory, and may not be intended for lunch. I have been told that he will serve as a "companion" for me. I am... leery.

And then, and I truly cannot believe that this could actually happen to a Man-Kitty such as myself, apparently The Interloper may be plotting a return. I think to myself, "Perhaps this Interloper is like Santa Clause in that apparently he only arrives once a year? And yet, he is very unlike Santa Claus, as he does not bring me gifts." But if indeed it is true that he will visit us again but that he only comes once a year, then perhaps I can tolerate his presence, and this year I won't feel the need to attempt to cause him mortal injury? Except perhaps I shall have to attempt the mortal injury so as to preserve my reputation as a lethal fighting machine who will not hold with those who encroach upon his territory? And then I think that perhaps this "brother" person, also known as Mr. Stripey, might be enlisted in the campaign of terror that could be waged upon the Interloper, allowing me to emerge victorious once and for all? And yet, I have heard rumors (for the Man-Kitty has a sophisticated network of spies in place) that The Interloper may have plans to force an alliance with Mr. Stripey, in which the two would work together to facilitate my downfall. If these rumors are true, then I must be ever at the ready, always on the lookout for betrayal and sneak attacks.

As you might imagine, this excitement has taken me quite by surprise, for to this point, the summer has been without major (or even minor) intrigues. If it were not for my deep and abiding affection for the person whom you call "Dr. Crazy," I might refuse to participate in any of this willingly. Apparently, however, just the thought of Usurpers and Interlopers makes her happy. And I do want her to be happy.... Ah well. Tomorrow is a new day. And The Interloper's attempts to plot his return may fail. I shall not think about this any more until it is necessary. For now, I must take my 14th bath of the day. I do believe on bath #13 I missed a spot on my tail. This is unacceptable.

3 comments:

helenesch said...

Perhaps the Interloper must come bearing gifts for the Man-Kitty? Or is the Man-Kitty above such petty bribery?

At least this one loyal reader is eagerly awaiting pictures of Mr. Stripey! Hopefully M-K will not be too traumatized...

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Arbitrista said...

Hilarious.