Ok, so I've got this thing. I hate calling up to order a pizza. The whole process just freaks me out, and it always has. (A companion phobia is I hate calling to make reservations at restaurants.) I will most often just get pizza at the grocery store rather than order pizza because I hate calling to order a pizza so much. And I've been doing the healthy eating thing for a while now, so I've not even done that recently. But today was a long, hard day, and I really wanted a goddamned pizza from a pizza place (also because it's like -40 degrees with the wind chill and I can't imagine leaving my house) and so I overcame my pizza-phoning phobia, and I called them up.
All I can say is, this was not a simple transaction. I called Pizza Place #1. I swear to god I had some sort of illiterate person on the phone. All I wanted to order was one sausage and pepperoni pizza. This should have taken just five minutes, right? Right? Oh no. The kid couldn't spell (not only my name, but the name of the TOWN I LIVE IN), he kept reversing the letters/numbers in my address and phone number, and I was on the phone with him for TEN MINUTES before I finally gave up and told him just to forget it. (I was on the phone that long because I thought that I would be nice to the poor guy, and I felt like I should support his effort to have a job since clearly he couldn't read, and he seemed incredibly stressed out and I felt bad for him.)
So then I called Pizza Place #2. That went much better. But I'm saying, why, WHY, WHY does calling for a pizza have to be such an ordeal? And why don't I have a boyfriend who will call and order pizzas for me, because really, that is one of the primary roles that a boyfriend would have in my life. (This is also one reason why I tend to weigh more when I am in a relationship, so perhaps what I really need is a guy who refuses to order pizzas for me.)
Anyway. In 50 minutes I'll have pizza. I almost don't want it anymore, but after all of that effort, I have to eat the pizza on principle.
Edited to Add:
Pizza Place #1 tried to deliver me a pizza anyway. And the delivery guy got lost on the way to me. When he got to the door, I realized that he was the wrong Pizza guy, so I sent him away. He crossed paths with Pizza guy from Pizza Place #2, who proceeded to tell me how Pizza Place #2 is filled with drug dealers and they're not a good Pizza Place. Dude, I'm not ordering pizza again for a year.
6 years ago