Poof, because I didn't intend this post to hurt anybody's feelings or to upset anyone or to make anybody look foolish or jerky.
I just wrote what I wrote because I had things I wanted to get out of my system without burdening the person who probably should have been the one to hear them. I also (wrongly) assumed that the person wouldn't actually read the post. So, anyway, I'm an ass who really shouldn't be allowed to blog because she still makes mistakes like this years into the whole thing.
12 years ago
10 comments:
Maybe I am missing something, but, even if his mom is sick, why wouldn't he still come to see you? I am confused. And like you I would have no patience with the half-assed travel plans. (Unlike you, though, I would probably actually be angry about it... because in addition to having no patience, I am also an Angry Girl!)
Anyway I hope you get to see each other.
Well, see, he would. The added complication thrown into the mix, however, is that my mom is coming to see me Wed. through Sat. (when he's supposed to be at his parents') so if he were to come and see me just me, which is an option on the table, that would also involve him spending like two days of quality time with my mother, whom he's not met before, and of me wanting to kill myself, given the small size of my living quarters and the fact that really I can't have more than one guest at a time comfortably, unless the extra person were on family terms both with me and the other person staying with me.
There's something about a) having somebody over for a sleepover when your mom's visiting that seems wrong to me and b) not only having somebody over, but having that person be a Fake Boyfriend, the contours of such relationship being ones that your mother totally does not understand, for your mother is nothing if not conventional in her attitudes to many, many things. I mean, she knows he exists and everything, and they were going to meet briefly this visit maybe, but she really does not get our relationship, nor does she want to know the details of it.
In other words, I want to see him ridiculously badly, but I want him to wear a surgical mask and to go to his mother's house as a worst case scenario, not to like have him negotiating with my mother about who's showering first on Thanksgiving morning.
I would be annoyed. In fact, I am annoyed on your behalf.
We really are the same person, Crazy. (Which means that I, too, am annoyed on your behalf.)
Yeah, I'd be annoyed at the lack of travel planning, and the lack of affirmation-without-demanding. I'd also be hugely disappointed if the trip fell through, but am totally with you on wanting to avoid negotiating with mom about who gets the first shower. :) I hope it works out!!
Aw, it's so nice of you all to be annoyed for me! Seriously, I'm actually not "annoyed" exactly... perhaps because I understand about his travel commitmentphobia? Eh. Whatever. It shall work out. Hee! I just thought that the best alternative option would be to leave him here with my mom and I could just go to his mom's house in his stead. Ah, I make myself laugh. I do like his mom a great deal though, and I'm not sick. Clearly our mothers should just trade.
Perhaps I will run this idea past him :)
(Note: my mother would never agree to such a trade, but I totally feel like FB's mom would. She thinks I'm grand.)
Oh, the travelphobes. . . my stepsons for years would not tell us Christmas or Thanksgiving plans. It was sort of, well, you're the parents, you'll be there. (It wasn't passive aggressive "you're my stepmother".) But we would find out the weekend before that they were doing whatever for thanksgiving (sometimes coming to us, sometimes not.) Finally, one of the daughters in law started planning. Phew.
I love the notion of trading mothers; and his mom is right that you are grand.
Ahhh. I see. You know, it's only lately that I've begun thinking it would be nice to live near my family, if only to be able to avoid these kinds of logistical nightmares. Because having these kinds of hither and yon relationships makes everything so stupidly complicated.
Anyway, I'm annoyed with you about the logistics, how's that?
My word veri is "unquac." What is it trying to tell me, Crazy?)
I'm still annoyed. I think this is because I do not at all understand the travel commitmentphobia.
Well, it takes a special sort of person to understand travel commitmentphobia, A. Seriously, though: I'm not tremendously bothered by that, whereas I have totally lost my mind when he didn't call when I expected him to. Lest FB get too bad of a rap, it should be acknowledged that he puts up with a lot of crap from yours truly, and really, his problem with travel plans is much less annoying than most of my problems with things. I think I'd be more annoyed if I didn't know that he does this with ALL travel - conferences, non-holiday travels, etc., whether they involve me or not. As it is, I will either see him tomorrow (Yay! except he'll be sick and that will be annoying, but still yay!) or I won't, which means I can lay around lazily until Wednesday when I'll get things ready for my mom's arrival, so also yay, except also sigh because I'd like to see FB very much. Ah well, it will be like a surprise! Who knows what may happen!
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