Ok, so I expressed to FB when I saw him this week that I'd like for us to exchange gifts for Christmas. He agreed.
Crazy: FB, I have a thing.
FB: Of course you do.
Crazy: I feel like we should give each other Christmas presents.
FB: Ok. ]
Tonight, I tried to get some information regarding his preferences, but FB, being FB, refused to provide information.
He refused to provide rules about amount to spend.
FB: I'll know how much you care about me based on how much you spend.
Crazy: But I don't believe that how much one spends shows the amount of caring!
FB: Well, so clearly whatever you get will show that you don't care very much.]
He refused to talk about what he wanted.
FB: I don't want anything. I told my mom I need underwear....
Crazy: Your mother will already be getting you underwear, so that would be a lame gift if I got you that! And that's not what you need, it's what you want!
FB: Right, so if you got me underwear I'd know that you don't really care about me.
Crazy: You're a jackass.]
So I took another tack: "I had imagined that I would have to give you a list of things that I might like."
His response: "Oh, I don't need a list. I'm just going to get you something like the flip-fold, something that will make your life better that you don't know you want."
(Note: I do really love my flip-fold, even if it is pink-for-girls. It really has made my life awesome. And I will say that I was incredibly pleased on the day on which it arrived. Still, I also feel it has a lot in common, as gifts go, with my mother's "stocking-stuffer" from college of a power strip, which wasn't really a gift, I must say.)
And then, he asserted that I could make rules if I wanted but that he didn't need rules, nor did he want them.
Actually, all of the above went on a lot longer than this recounted interchange on this here blog.
The point is, he refused to offer any ideas, and he refused to make a dollar-amount limit. Oh, wait, he did say I could spend "a month's salary." Asshole!
There was also some discussion of the fact that a sweater is no more thoughtful than a power-strip.
Any ideas for FB? I really only suggested the present-exchange because I liked the idea of him giving me a present. Because I'm selfish, and a little bit of a jerk. But now this is a challenge. I clearly have to get him something that's wicked-cool. Well, or something lame, but then something sweet and thoughtful and homemade in additon to the lame thing. (Though, of course, we know from the earlier post from today that "thoughtful" isn't my natural register.)
But so what should FB get for Christmas? And, to make this even more fun, what do you think he should get for me?
5 years ago