And the only evil ignorance.
This, folks, was what my fortune had to tell me this evening, as I gorged myself on Chinese food in an effort to try to make myself feel better and to find some meaning in my stupid life. And you know what I thought as soon as I read that there fortune? "No shit, Sherlock." And who's even said that past the age of 12? But yes, that was my response. Because my whole problem right now is that I'm ignorant about some things that I need to know about, and there's not one thing that I can do other than to wait around until somebody decides to enlighten me. And that, my friends, is why it's really not good to be me.
That and the fact that I slipped and fell on some ice this morning as I tried to walk across campus to my class.
And the fact that it's probably not good that I've been holed up in my house waiting to become un-ignorant through two snow days.
And that I've not been getting anything done during this waiting to become un-ignorant, unless one counts playing Civilization IV constantly as "getting something done."
I mean, I suppose one could say that I'm getting a great deal done, in that I'm founding and developing whole civilizations, but as this is imaginary, it probably doesn't count.
But so yes. It's hard to wait. Even after months of waiting. And I'm not a patient person, and I'm not interesting when I'm waiting around for things that are out of my control. And so this, folks, is the reason why I've been so quiet. I'm giving myself until tomorrow to wallow, and then I've got to move on. Not that anything necessarily will be different tomorrow, but I just can't go on in this holding pattern. No, I need to get back to eating like a rational person, I need to get my ass to the gym, and I need to focus on other things aside from this stupid predicament in which I've put myself. God, why couldn't I just be content with what I've got instead of putting myself in a position where I'd have to wonder what the future would hold? I hate wondering what the future holds. I like routine, stability. Why am I always forgetting that?
4 years ago