Sunday, August 19, 2007

I Mean, Bless His Heart! Whatever!

Of late, I've had a number of conversations with various friends about relationshippy type things. What's going on with all of the women in Crazy's life?

Friend #1: Friend #1 has been seeing this guy for like 7 months, and they got into a spat over a stupid thing, he proceeded to pout and to ignore her, and so she chose, thinking that it would stop things from escalating and making a mountain out of a molehill, to go home that evening. He then got all pissed off and angsty at her for "leaving," even though he wouldn't talk to her when she was there. The molehill thus became a mountain, but I think it's all smoothed over now.

Friend #2: Friend #2 has been sort of seeing this guy, and they're attracted to each other, have a lot in common, whatever, but he can't be in a relationship with her because all he wants to do is have sex with her (although they've not, actually, had the sex). Apparently desire is a deal-breaker for him? He'd rather be with somebody with whom he doesn't want to have sex?

Friend #3: Friend #3 started seeing a guy like three weeks ago. They talk on the phone every night for hours, and they've been out a number of times. Every time they're out, he's all "I'm going to make out with you in public to claim territory" but things have yet to progress beyond first base behind closed doors. She is confused.

Friend #4: Friend #4 got a call out of the blue from Larry Lothario, with whom she's had dealings over the past four years. She'd thought she'd finally gotten him out of her system, and so (stupidly) agreed to meet him for dinner and a drink, just to show that she'd moved on. One thing led to another (and he was all, "I love you and I miss you") and the following day it was revealed that he had another kid a year ago and he lied to her and said that the kid was his niece - not his own fucking kid. When she called him on the lie, he then said that it was the mother of his first kid's child, but that it wasn't his and he only goes around telling the whole town that it's his daughter so that people won't think the mother of his other kid is a whore. I think that this person is truly, truly evil.

My friends are all awesome women, all smart and successful and great. So tonight, I was having yet another conversation, with Friend #5, about life and love, etc., and at one point she busted out, exasperated, with the sentiment that makes the title of this post, which made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I mean, what's the deal with all of these guys with their angst and woe? Their baggage, and their commitmentphobia, and their strange ideas about sex and relationships? Bless their hearts, but whatever.


life_of_a_fool said...

Re friend #2: I have a theory that some men (people, probably) can't handle a relationship with someone they both are friends with (have a lot in common with, know each other well, etc.) and have sex with at the same time. I don't understand it, but that's the best explanation I've come up with. And, yeah, whatever.

Doctor Pion said...

I believe the answer to your puzzle is that you have just listed four reasons that those four guys are still single.