I realize I've not really posted in a few days.... The end of the semester + angst related to the fact that I've sent out all of those job applications + plotting a coup with some of my colleagues = Crazy just has nothing to say.
I don't have anything to say to my students, which is why I have yet to grade papers I received nearly two weeks ago and why I will not, although I'd said I would earlier in the week, be returning them today.
I don't have anything to say to my friends, even though I want to call them up and respond to their emails and things. The problem is, the minute I open my mouth all I want to talk about is the fact that I don't have anything to say about my "progress" on the job search because I've not made any "progress" but rather just have had a few writing sample requests, which means very little at the end of the day and is in no way a guarantee of a first interview, let alone a second, let alone a job offer. So what to do I "say" about that which is turning me into a nutso when, really, there's absolutely nothing to report about it? (Speaking of which, I've convinced myself that I'm an idiot about not buying my plane ticket for MLA. I've decided that the gods who threaten to strike me down for any sign of hubris will just have to look the other way on this one, as I really can't afford to wait much longer to buy this damned ticket. I'm hoping that the fact that I can decide not to go and to change the ticket if necessary will appease these gods. Or I can go for any other number of reasons. But I suppose the issue here is that I don't want the gods who threaten to strike me down for any sign of hubris to read a basically practical decision to buy a plane ticket as me not realizing that I may not get even one interview. Ugh.
You know, I don't think I have anything to say to the gods who threaten to strike me down for any sign of hubris, either. They're a bunch of assholes.
Sadly, I also don't have much in the way to say to you all, my readers. There's a lot I'd want to say that I probably should let percolate a bit before I do, and then there's the fact that most of even that stuff is so lame and boring that it's probably not worth saying. And you know, I'm really boring when I'm a freaked out mess. I wish that the semester were already over. And I wish that it weren't really crappy weather today.
- end whine -
12 years ago
8 comments:
I'll whine with you--perhaps we can produce a whining harmony or something. I, too, have papers that arrived two weeks ago that stubbornly remain ungraded. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just sleep until, say, December 20 or so?
I think I've used up my allotment of words this semester....
hugs..
I too think I'm empty.
time for the end of the semester.
I think we academic types understand the job thing, the difficulties of waiting, hoping for a next step. But it's difficult to get someone not close to academics to see it.
Anyway, I've got my fingers crossed for you to get the perfect offer! (That and five bucks gets you a small coffee at *$!)
Totally whining with you about the job market stuff. It takes over. I bore *myself*.
Hope hope that something shifts soon!
Hmm. Torn on the ticket voodoo decision, but I don't think the job market gods are too worried about that particular display of humility or hubris. Keep biting those nails, girl - there are really 2 more weeks before you're allowed to despair properly, and a week after that before it's "abandon hope" and re-write the future time. Which you know, and doesn't help, but I thought I'd point it out...But yes, the brain's inability to stop obsessing over just one thing does get rather dull.
Perhaps you should get a ticket and come to MLA just to come to MLA. I hear there will be many cool bloggers and other smarty pants types there, many of whom like to hoist a spirited beverage or twelve.
Well, my dears, after getting my fortune this evening I broke down and bought the plane ticket. I suspect I'll end up going to MLA whatever the case, but I'm still leaving myself the option not to attend if I get no interviews - I'll just have to see how I feel in the next two weeks. That said, yes yes yes to many drinks with fellow bloggers if we can get it together if I do indeed go. I'll need to check my hectic social schedule to see when I'll be able to do so (as I've actually got a very hectic social schedule whenever I go to MLA, at least in the early evening hours, between some society functions and drinks receptions etc.) but as far as I'm concerned MLA is all about the socializing, so count me in!
(Ok, from the above comment it becomes clear to me that I'll go to MLA whatever the case. I'm such a nerd.)
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