Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Random Things on My Mind

  • Why is it that some grown women - particularly (at least from my observations in various airports and shopping districts around the country) women who aren't, shall we say, petite (and I would put myself into that category, because I'm not petite at all) - think that dressing like a five year old will make them appear "feminine"? Please, ladies, if you are over the age of 15 and over a size zero, do not wear any of the following: a) gingham sundresses with big flower appliques on the pocket; b) sweat-suits in a color of cotton-candy pink with matching tops and bottoms; c) clothing featuring cartoon characters (unless you are a kindergarten teacher and are ACTUALLY TEACHING the kindergarteners). I realize that I may sound harsh, but I really think I'm doing a public service on this one.
  • What is it about bodies of water, whether man-made (as in swimming pools) or natural (lakes, rivers, oceans) that make otherwise reasonable people think it makes sense to make out in front of others? Ok, so if you're Paris Hilton on a beach in the Seychelles islands it's probably quite romantic. But if you are in the swimming pool at your (and my) apartment complex? With kids playing Marco Polo and fat ladies chain-smoking and reading bodice-rippers? Not so much. I don't get it. What is it about the water that makes people lose the PDA inhibitions?
  • Why is it that when I'm eating right and working out (as I am again), which gives me more energy, which should be a good thing, I get angry because I want to be lazy and my body won't cooperate?
  • Why is it that I always spend exactly as much money as I make or more, even though I should in theory make enough money to save money?

I suppose that's all for today. I'm really enjoying being back HOME, though it was nice to see friends, relatives, other countries, other cities, etc. I do wish the sunshine would come out, though. I mean, really. I've got to get back to work on my tan.

9 comments:

tippycanoe said...

Regarding your first point, I think this should definitely apply to all women, petite or not!

Lina said...

Agree wholeheartedly with first point, wish to add jumpers with illustrations of labradors etc.
Oh, saw a really massive woman yesterday wearing a tankini and skinny jeans in town. That needs to go on the list too.

Dr. Crazy said...

Tippycanoe: I see your point about this applying to the non-petite as well. I suppose my thinking, though, is that if one has a tiny body, it's not quite as horrifying a style error to dress it as other tiny people (i.e., children) dress. Not that it's a good thing, mind you, but somehow less jarring. The reason I specify the non-petite, as well, is that I think that as a non-petite woman it's easy to fall into these traps thinking that one is more "feminine" or "girly" if one dresses like, well, a little girl. Smaller women, in my experience, tend not to worry about not appearing feminine to as great a degree.

And Clare, yes, I agree about what you mention above whole-heartedly! Might I just say that I am going to try my damndest to resist the Skinny Jean trend as it makes my ass look like it's the size of a double-wide trailor? Even when I'm at my smallest possible weight? Because I have HIPS? Sigh. Hate the skinny jean.

Lina said...

No, no, Crazy. The skinny jeans are your friend. Trust me. Really. This is my job. Think: skinny jeans, baggy shirt and a belt at the waist (my outfit for tomorrow), or one of those long tshirts, dead simple and crazy beads, or a strappy short dress over them.... granted, cover the arse, but really really the possibilities are fucking ENDLESS. Am really such a lover of skinny jeans. Got to be tight. I'll permit bootcuts, but to be honest when skinny jeans go out I'll be gutted. Gives legs a fantastic shape. Do not resist the skinny jean. And you should see my shape. Big tits, big arse. Fortunately I have a decent waist. But the arse is still there. And I still wear them. I'm tempted to do a blog post about skinny jeans. Be Not Afraid, I'll call it.
(no one is more amazed than me at how passionate I got there)

Kirby said...

I have a strange question for you. How do you get the POST COMMENT link on your page.

Oso Raro said...

It's funny you would focus on the deployment of femininity in public spaces of travel, for as someone who has been travelling quite a lot lately, I too have been reflecting on how American women in particular demonstrate image in these spaces in depressing and sometimes desperate ways. Along with the men, US women seem to want to either cultivate a thoroughly boring image, sometimes an ironically and unintentional lesbian androgenous image from the 70s, in other words comfort methodology (I mean, jeans and a t-shirt are rarely attractive on anybody alone, or the pyjama effect of looking like you should be making coffee in your kitchen alone, instead of rolling your suitcase past hundreds of people) or something super-sexy along very commercial lines. Now, I am a sexual omnivore, and find most bodies have something redeeming about them. That does not mean we can all wear thongs, baby-tees and flip flops. For one, many need a good pedicure, and until that time, please spare us the sight of your horrible toenails. But I digress.

I think part of this is the total collapse of the public and private in American society, which has led us to a moment where there are no rules of engagement, either on the field of the sartorial or of manners. As a larger man for most of my life (oh, and gay too), I have always been hyper-conscious of how I appear in public, what do I look like? Do they see me? What do they think? This self-policing can be oppressive, but the alternative, which is no self-awareness at all, is equally as bad. I will say I think men have a slightly easier job of it: the paradigm of masculinity does not leave us many sartorial choices, and as long as one is not wearing a skirt, you're probably OK, if your clothes are clean. American women, dealing with so many contradictory and powerful paradigms (motherhood, sexy seductrix, 'girl next door,' flirty girl, bad girl, make-up girl, sporty spice, etc ad nauseum) have a harder time of it. And these are also informed by class and education. I guess in the end I want people, men and women, to own their look, and not be unconscious about it. Oh well, la lucha continua!

Seeking Solace said...

There are so many things I could add to #1. For example, wear clothing so tight that you look like a Bob Evans Sausage is NEVER acceptable. Also, wearing shorts so short that you see the butt cheeks is wrong on so many levels.

I could go on, but I don't want to gross anyone out any more than I already have!

D.B. said...

I think it probably isn't water that inspires making out so much as the kind of clothing proximity to water sanctions. My girlfriend, for example, couldn't keep her hands off me in Seaside, NJ this weekend; putting down a cigarette and a bodice-ripper, she confessed (in my Firebird) that the cut of my Speedo accentuated my powerful thighs (I can legpress like 70lbs) and that my chest, with its erratic patches of hair, was more ripply than usual. My girlfriend's great like that. We spent the rest of the ride up the Parkway making out.

Terminaldegree said...

I shall confess to Sin #3 today: wearing a cartoon character on my T-shirt. Yes, I went to the grocery store wearing a shirt with a sparkly "Betty and Veronica" on it. And I am NOT a petite woman.

Why? Because it was a gift from someone who knows I'm not frilly. And it makes me laugh, so I wear it for jobs I don't want to do (cleaning the floor, doing laundry, quick trips to the store...) to brighten up my day.

But to wear it seriously? Noooo...