Apparently, when you have one, you feel entitled to put forth entire proposals about which you have consulted no one and which nearly everybody thinks are stupid. And you feel wronged when people think that they are stupid because your penis is supposed to mean that everybody thinks you're right and that nasty lady with the vagina is wrong.
Also when you have a penis, you feel that it is completely within your rights to disparage a process (and by extension the person running it) that has been totally transparent on a listserv, when you've not attended a single faculty meeting or, apparently, read any of the many documents that have been circulated widely to faculty. Indeed, your opinion (attached to the penis that you swing around in everybody's face) counts, regardless of how (un)informed you are.
Having a penis means that you can write an email to shut down certain sorts of discussions without being called a bitch or being treated like you are overreacting or crazy.
And apparently, being equipped with a penis means that you can advocate for your own position without being criticized for doing so, being accused of being unprofessional, being treated like a dumb little girl who just doesn't understand her own freaking discipline.
What kills me (aside from the fact that I'm surrounded by a bunch of dicks) is that I'm more professionally respected and accomplished than 90% of the men who are shooting their mouths off in ways that are public and that cast me in a negative light. And yet, I need to get "good" dicks to advocate for me because no matter what I do, the one qualification I'm lacking is a big old penis of my own.
3 years ago