Monday, September 24, 2007

In Which Plans Are Changed Because a Friend Is In Need

So, it was about 20 minutes to the start of part two of "The War," and I was about to settle into work on the book and to the watching of said program, when DH called me to tell me that she and her (so it seemed at the time) One True Love broke up for once and for all. Obviously, I could not tell her that I needed to go in order to watch TV and in order to do work that I've been procrastinating about for days. I feel so horrible for her. You know what may be the worst relationship thing in the world? When you know exactly what you want from a person and when they don't want the same thing - not even enough to say maybe. This is especially shitty when they broke it off with you a month before only to come crawling back a few days later because they "miss" you. I wish I could say I'd not been through the same thing, but having been there, I know exactly how much DH is hurt by the whole charade. And you know what I think of this dude? I think he totally and completely sucks. And I'm proud of DH for not putting up with it for as long as I'd probably have done.

6 comments:

Weezy said...

You didnt' miss much. I know it makes me a bad historian, but I just couldn't stick with it. After about a half hour I just couldn't get into it. It really isn't anything new, and from a context standpoint was sort of lame. Just my two cents!

phd me said...

Having dealt with that particular relationship problem with my last guy - the man I wanted to marry - yeah, it's completely shitty. So sorry for your friend

Earnest English said...

Poor DH -- that sucks. Relationships are so so hard. But at least DH has a good friend like you!

GP said...

Oh my God. There are more people that this just happened to? Of course, I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but it sort of helps to know that I'm not the only academic schmuck whose personal life was the only cynicism-free living space before it all came crashing down.

PhDMe & DH: it sucks. Sucks ass, actually. Know that others are there, if it helps.

Mano said...

Why do you think you would have put up with it longer? Or at all?

Dr. Crazy said...

Hmmm. Interesting question, Mano. I suppose that I wrote that I'd put up with it longer because I do have a habit, once I "decide" about somebody, of digging in my heels and refusing to recognize when the ship has sailed. And once I invest a certain amount of time, I then feel like to bail would mean that the time I've already spent would have been wasted. I just have a hard time with letting go once I get entrenched in a relationship, however much I might see that it's heading toward an end or that it's not working.

That said, I'm good at doing early break-ups without a whole lot of agonizing. This is probably the reason why I've had only two significant, long-term relationships. Otherwise? Everything else has been like 3 months or shorter. I'm the sort of person who invests a lot in commitments that I choose, and I need to be better about letting go of those when they don't work. That said, I'm not often in that situation because I generally don't let it get to that point. Short version of all of this: I'm a commitmentphobe who takes commitment very seriously indeed.