This is not going quickly. Not at all. That said, I think I've managed 3 mediocre pages, and it does seem to be coming a bit faster. Part of the problem, I think, is that I'm trying to do way too much. I'm not focused. I think I've decided, though, that I should just do what I can to get what I'm trying to do down in a loose way. I can always go back and tighten (as I always have to do anyway) and so the point is not for this draft to be perfect but rather for it to exist.
I'm having one of my typical moments of writerly insecurity, though, where I feel as if I'm being too... I don't know. Like I'm not rooting what I'm talking about in scholarly conversation enough. Like I'm just yammering on in an engaging though unsophisticated way and that ultimately that means that what I'm writing lacks substance and depth and that it's not ultimately very good.
I should note that all of the above is probably, at the moment, true. But I should also note that I know that it won't always be true, and so really, I need to just stop feeling like a loser and get on with it. Perhaps I will make myself a cup of tea.
(And thank god I put on the running shoes when I did or I so would have decided to take a nap by now.)
5 years ago