In large part that's because there just hasn't been that much to talk about. I mean it's fine. Whatever. I'm not totally passionate about it or anything, but I do think I'm quite good at the work that I'm doing. But you know what I think I'm most good at actually? I'm good at the fine art of appearing busy. An art of which I became a master when I worked as a temp throughout college and grad school. And that is the reason why I sort of hate administrative stuff (for whether one is an administrative assistant or is doing program administration, well, the same skills are required) but it's also why it's sort of weirdly relaxing. I mean, what matters more than what I actually accomplish most days is just that my ass is in the office and available to other people. And sure, I do a little work while my ass is in the chair, but it's not like I actually have some sort of pressure on that work, as long as it looks like I'm working, if that makes any sense. This is so different from the "professor" part of my job, where I don't really have to be much of anywhere in terms of doing time and clock-watching, but I have to produce a lot more.
I don't know. Maybe part of the reason that I equate this experience to temping is because I'm basically doing this job as a temp - it's a one-semester dealio. And perhaps it would feel different if I felt like it actually were my job. I kind of doubt it, though. I kind of think that this is how I'd feel whatever the case. And maybe there will come a time when that seems enticing, but for now? Well, I'm pretty excited that my time in this clock-watching prison will be up at the semester's end. I may be good at looking busy, but it drives me out of my mind.
5 years ago