Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Reasons That I'd Like to Be an A-List Celebrity

(In no particular order).

1. "Exhaustion" counts as an actual illness. That requires hospitalization. It's not just a condition of being that one has to suck up. For real. Unbelievable, isn't it?
2. Every year I would get to attend a string of events at which I would be nominated for awards and cheered by friend, foe, and stranger alike. Just for doing my job.
3. Free clothes.
4. Free food and drink.
5. If I were a super movie actor, I would only have to work like 3 months out of the year and I'd be a millionaire.

In a related thought, my favorite part of the Golden Globes last night was when Geena Davis said the thing about the little girl in her first party dress coming up to her and saying that her role on Commander in Chief has made the little girl want to grow up to be president, the camera flipped to a glowy and pregnant, angelic Gwyneth Paltrow with a saintly earth-mother smile of appreciation at the sweet story being told, and then Geena Davis revealed that she made it up. Mwahahaha!

(And yes, I realize that it's wrong of me to revel in any incident that makes a fool of Gwyneth Paltrow, but her very existence makes me feel like a total loser, and so thus, the schadenfreude.)

11 comments:

Anastasia said...

aaargghhh gwyneth paltrow is the bane of my existence.

La Lecturess said...

It's not just you. I've always hated Gwyneth Paltrow (her character in Royal Tennenbaums almost made me change my mind, but. . . nope).

Margo, darling said...

Yay!!! Gwyneth bashing! My favorite blood sport!

Jesse said...

Geena has been looking scary these days. I saw her in the new documentary about Cronenberg's The Fly, and did a double take.

Seeking Solace said...

Don't forget about the gift bags that the stars receive at award show! Tons of free stuff that we could NEVER afford!

CharlieAmra said...

I agree with seeking solace. Don't forget about the Swag Bag, full of expensive goodies that you would get every time you attended an event.

But it would be nice to "suffer" exhaustion and have other people make up excuses for you. sigh.

ScienceWoman said...

It'd be nice to date a movie star or rocker too. Some of those guys are pretty good looking :)

robin said...

did you hear one of the stars mentioning that there was a trip to antarctica in the gift bag? i'd like to believe that's hyperbole. but it's within the "realm" of possibility, and even that freaks me out.

no it makes me very jealous.

i did love geena davis, though.

Dr. Lisa said...

Everybody else was raving about Paltrow's dress, which I despised. Meringue. Ick.

Dr. Crazy said...

As far as I can tell they rave about any formal dressing of the pregnant body. Apparently, it's a miracle that anybody can find formal attire to cover the vast expanse of woman-with-child.

I didn't mind GP's dress, though I agree with whatever fashion commentator (J. Alexander? maybe) said it looked like Apple's Christening outfit. But hey - if that's what you're going for....

Dr. Crazy said...

Oh, and I can't believe that I didn't put SWAG on the list. Yes, that is a VERY good reason to become an A-lister.

Dreaming of free creams and electronics that cost more than my rent.....