Onion Meme

Or, as Clare called it, the Longest Meme in the World. Please ignore if you just can't be bothered to read such a lengthy thing about moi....

Layer One
Name: Why Crazy, of course
Birthdate: August 1974
Birthplace: Cleveland
Current location: Midwest, U.S.
Eye colour: Hazel
Righty or lefty: Righty
Sign: Leo
Innie or outie: Innie

Layer Two
Heritage: Irish, Italian, Hungarian, Polish, and culturally Lebanese, though not by blood
Shoes you wore today: Black lace-up boots (no heel) because I couldn't be bothered with cute shoes. I've had these since grad school and I am anxious about the day that will come when I've got to get rid of them.
Your hair: Medium-blonde w/ highlights (that incidentally are not light enough for my taste.... grrrrr....), choppy bob
Your weakness: Gossip, whether about celebrities (tabloids, etc.) or about real people
Your fears: Driving over big bridges, especially those that cross water, and any number of things I can't think of right now.
Your perfect pizza: Chicago-style, but only in Chicago. The toppings vary.

Layer Three
Your most overused phrase: Is "motherfucker" a phrase?
Your first waking thoughts: Stop meowing and snooze. And no kneading my head, even if it is the most cat-like part of me. Ugh.
The first features you notice in opposite sex (or same sex, whatever...): Height.
Your best physical feature: I've got no idea. Probably my eyes, as boring as that is.
Your bedtime: I keep wanting to go to bed at 8:30 because I'm so bored with TV but generally I'm falling asleep around 10:30.
Your greatest accomplishment: Getting my Ph.D.

Layer Four
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Clare says she prefers Cherry Coke. My weakness (hey - I should have put this above!) is actually Diet Cherry Coke. It might be the best drink ever.
Single or group dates: Dates? I haven't been on an actual date since like 2000. Sad, isn't it? I'm not much of a dater, though of course I've got a resolution to change that in the coming months.
Adidas or Nike: Adidas. Why? a.) My feet do not fit comfortably in Nike running shoes because I have chubby little kid feet. b.) The Run DMC song. c.) Is anybody else of the generation that said that Adidas was an acronym for All Day I Dream About Sex? That makes me giggle, as only the seventh-grader inside of me can giggle.
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
Coffee or cappuccino: It really depends, doesn't it?

Layer Five
Smoke: Ok, so I did have two lapses over the holidays - one cigarette on Dec. 23rd and one cigarette on Dec. 29th. Other than that, no! I have quit! I have broken free from the Nicotine Monkey that had been on my back for years!
Cuss: See my answer for "most overused phrase."
Sing: All the time.
Take a shower everyday: It depends.
Have a crush: Not on any real life people, though, as we all know, Jake Gyllenhall is my boyfriend.
Been in love: Not been in real love for years, though I've tried to persuade myself to think I was in love more recently.
Want to get married: I guess, but only under the appropriate circumstances.
Believe in yourself: Of course I do.
Type with the right fingers on the right keys: You bet your ass. Last time I was timed I typed around 100 words/minute with 98% accuracy. Though I suck at the number keys.
Think you're attractive: Of course I do.
Think you're a health freak: Ok, so I'm trying to be one kind of but I'm totally not.
Get along with your parents: With mom and stepdad yes, with dad and stepmom not at all.
Play an instrument: Well, there was an attempt to learn the guitar when I was in 6th grade from a nun and all I learned was the hymn "Peace Is Flowing Like a River" and "Edelweiss." No, I'm not kidding.

Layer Six
In the past month did you...?
Drink alcohol: Yes.
Smoke: 2 cigarettes.
Do a drug: Nope.
Make out: Sadly, nope.
Go on a date: Again, the answer would have to be nope.
Eat an entire box of oreos: Not in the past month....
Eat sushi: Nope.
Been on stage: Well, all of the world is my stage....
Been dumped: Happily, nope.
Gone skating: No, though I did watch the beginning of Skating with the Celebrities.
Gone skinny dipping: It's fucking January. Are you kidding me?
Made homemade cookies: By "homemade" do we mean anything that is baked in my oven at home?
Fallen in love: Shakes head, begins to think that she shouldn't have done this meme.
Stolen anything: No
Dyed your hair: Do highlights count?

Layer Seven:
Have you ever...?
Played a game that required you to remove an item of clothing: Who hasn't?
Been trashed: Yes.
Been intoxicated: Yes
Been caught doing something: Yes
Been called a tease: Yes, but not since I was 15. Apparently I learned my lesson....
Shoplifted: Yes

Layer Eight
Age you hope to be married: Was this meme designed by a 13 year old? Because I've got to say, I've not answered a question like this one since I was in high school at the latest.
Number and names of kids: Ok, getting into the 13-year-old spirit of this, I will point out that one can't decide on the number and names of kids until one gets married and knows what the husband's last name is. Because this is a totally heteronormative 13-year-old world we're in, yes?
Describe your dream wedding: All that really matters to me is the food. Well, and the music, too.
How do you want to die: I don't know!
What would you like to be when you grow up: Ah, it is a meme for 13 year olds! Well, I would like to be independently wealthy, thus allowing me to pursue my dream of becoming a globe-trotting independent scholar.
What countries would you most like to visit: Wherever, though I've never been too intrigued by "adventure" type places where things like safaris happen or where one climbs mountains and things.

Layer Nine
Number of wo/men kissed: Holy crap. That number's got to be near a hundred. I stopped counting number of people I've kissed about 10 years ago.
Number of girl/boyfriends had: Real ones? I'd say... 4 or 5. Not real ones? I'd say somewhere around 10.
Number of drugs taken: Do over-the-counter drugs count? What about things like the Pill and antibiotics?
Number of people I could trust with my life: I don't know... a few.
Number of piercings: 3, if we count each ear as one.
Number of CDs: who the hell knows.
Number of tattoos: zero.
Number of scars: I don't know. I'm not a much-scarred person.
Number of regrets: I don't think any. At least none come quickly to mind.