It is a beautiful, gorgeous, sunshine-y day outside, and I am chained to my computer writing an article I don't know how to write that is, as far as I can tell, going to be an embarrassment to me as well as to the collection of which it will be a part. I am not feeling hopeful about my ability to turn it into something other than a steaming pile of crap.
Why didn't I just go to the pool today?
I'll tell you why: because I need to get this thing done. Once it's done, I can go to the pool every single day guilt-free. Or even if it's not done-done, but just a complete and polishable draft - that would be good enough. But I cannot have fragments of notes, no structure, and all of the bits and pieces of nonsense that I currently have. I have a whole paragraph of rhetorical questions, people. This is not good writing.
You know what the problem is? I don't know how to write about shit where there is like NO criticism of it already. I mean, sure, that's what makes this probably the most important (ha!) work I've ever done - it will be among the first pieces of criticism about this thing. But seriously: how does one write something with any scholarly merit when you're just blabbing about reviews in Entertainment Weekly and crap? JUST HOW? And how does one not be derogatory to a TV Guide critic who said something that just doesn't make any sense at all about exactly what you're writing about?
I know I just need to do this thing. I know that it does not need to be perfect, or even very good, at this stage of the game. But it's difficult to keep working on something that you have come to decide is the most ridiculous thing you've ever attempted to write. (And yes, this is more ridiculous than posts on this blog in which I write in the voices of my cats. At least those are funny.)
11 years ago