My grandmother, my father's mother, died this morning around 5 AM. Since I heard the news, I've been trying to clear my calendar and figure out what the fuck I'm doing enough that I can go to Hometown for the funeral. She was very sick, and I'm glad that she's not suffering anymore. I'm also glad that I was able to reconnect with her this year, and that I saw her at Christmas. All of this doesn't make it any less sad, really, but somehow it does make it feel a little less awful.
I still can't decide what to do about canceling classes or not. I should probably just cancel them. So why can't I just make the decision and be done with it? Stupid.
There are so many things I want to write but they all seem stupid and selfish and pointless. I think I'm going to go and figure out what to do about my classes and then I need to do some laundry and pack for the weekend. And I think I'm committed to throwing away the dress that I seem only to wear for funerals as soon as this one is done. Except, of course, it is the perfect dress for a funeral, and it's not like people will stop dying if I get rid of it.
I don't know. Maybe more later.
1 year ago