Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sad

My grandmother, my father's mother, died this morning around 5 AM. Since I heard the news, I've been trying to clear my calendar and figure out what the fuck I'm doing enough that I can go to Hometown for the funeral. She was very sick, and I'm glad that she's not suffering anymore. I'm also glad that I was able to reconnect with her this year, and that I saw her at Christmas. All of this doesn't make it any less sad, really, but somehow it does make it feel a little less awful.

I still can't decide what to do about canceling classes or not. I should probably just cancel them. So why can't I just make the decision and be done with it? Stupid.

There are so many things I want to write but they all seem stupid and selfish and pointless. I think I'm going to go and figure out what to do about my classes and then I need to do some laundry and pack for the weekend. And I think I'm committed to throwing away the dress that I seem only to wear for funerals as soon as this one is done. Except, of course, it is the perfect dress for a funeral, and it's not like people will stop dying if I get rid of it.

I don't know. Maybe more later.

20 comments:

annieem said...

I'm so sorry, Dr. C.

gwinne said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Cancel class. Be with your family.

PhysioProf said...

I'm sorry for your and your family's loss, Dr. Crazy.

Don't even think about not cancelling your class; just do it. Academics can wait.

Fifi Bluestocking said...

I'm so sorry, Dr C. I went through this last year and had to travel a long way for the funeral so ended up missing a week of classes. My chair and colleagues were amazing but more importantly, my students were so compassionate. FWIW. Just do what you need to do.

Kendra said...

I'm so sorry.

Bardiac said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Crazy.

In my department, we try to cover for each other, at least for a few days. I hope your colleagues can help.

Ann said...

Dr. Crazy, I'm very sorry to hear this. Just go and be with your family. Your students have reading they need to do for your classes--they'll survive if you have to cancel a few classes this month.

Rituals--wearing your funeral dress, attending funerals--are rituals because they work to comfort us. (Sort of.)

Historiann.com

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I'm sorry to hear it -- and I say just go. Cancel class, be with your family and don't regret it.

Last spring I decided to cancel a week of class because my family needed me. My students all survived. If it makes you feel better, come up with a project or start an on-line discussion to keep them in line.

comebacknikki said...

I'm so sorry.
{{{Dr. C}}}

Maude Lebowski said...

(((((((((Dr. Crazy))))))))

Arbitrista said...

So sorry.

kermitthefrog said...

I'm very sorry. Echoing those commenters saying to take as much time as you have to to travel.

auto ethnographer said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news. Glad you canceled classes and contacted your brothers. wishing you safe travels.

Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Clio Bluestocking said...

I'm so sorry, that is quite sad.

undine said...

Sorry for your loss, Dr. C.

Shane in Utah said...

My condolences.

Seeking Solace said...

I am so sorry. Hugs.

PhDLadybug said...

Sorry for your loss. A big hug.

Terminal Degree said...

I'm so sorry.