(Let's note for the record that I am not a person who plays the lottery. In other words, the likelihood of me winning the lottery is even smaller even it is for people who actually play the lottery, i.e., I won't be winning the lottery.)
So FB (with whom I was having this conversation) has a variety of thoroughly considered plans for his lottery winnings (he is a person who does buy the lottery tickets, so I suppose it makes sense that he's given this a great deal of thought). The bulk of his plans are short-term, but they involve things like gifting various people in his life the highest amount that one can do without tax consequences (yes, he's even thought about the tax implications of his winnings/generosity, which is about five steps ahead of where I am in my "plan" for the lottery money that I will not win because I don't play), various locations in which he will buy homes and at what times of the year he would live in them, various philanthropic endeavors on which he would embark. Indeed, he imagines endowing a Fake Boyfriend Professorship and perhaps some Fake Boyfriend Buiding(s) to his current insitution, as well as putting his money (and energy) toward a variety of specific projects that have the potential to Change the World. All of these specific plans may have something to do with the fact that he's a Capricorn. Just saying.
So as we were talking, though, I realized that I had no fucking clue what I'd do if I ever came into a very large sum of money. As far as I can really get is the following:
- I'd pay off my student loans (approx. $50K).
- I'd pay off my car (like $13K).
- I'd buy my parents a house (either pay off their current one or buy them a nicer one, depending on their wishes, so let's imagine that they want a new house and not the one they've got, maybe $250K).
- I'd buy my own house (let's estimate $250K), and also probably some sort of a vacation home (let's throw out $250K as the figure for that as well, though I feel like I'd spend less on my vacation home than on my primary residence).
If I won the lottery, would I quit my job?
Would I quit my job? Now, on the one hand, I can imagine quitting my job. I can imagine no longer having this job, and instead spending my time attempting to write a novel, or being an independent scholar (for indeed, I wouldn't need travel money to present at conferences, and I could find a way to pay for research library access if I had 90 million dollars), or I could write a novel and be an independent scholar - no need to choose. I can imagine not having the service, not having the 4/4 teaching load, not having the stress of my current life.
Except. Except I'm really good at what I do in my current life, and I actually really enjoy the job that I have. I mean, really. But who wins the lottery and stays in a job that is so demanding? Only an idiot, right? Except... I really can't imagine upending my life because I came into a very large sum of money. I mean, I like my life. And, well, sure, I could go off and do any number of things with such a large sum of money, but...after a few years, how would I feel about giving it all up for that?
This is why I don't actually play the lottery. Because at the end of the day, I'm a girl who's about sure things. I don't need to win the lottery to be happy. I don't want to have to win the lottery to do what I want.
But what would you do if you won the big one? Because I clearly lack imagination.