RBOC: Oof.

• I spent most of the day today, when I wasn't at meetings, working on recommendations for two of my most favorite students ever.
  
• Good recommendations, I have calculated, take approximately 3x the amount of time to write that one schedules for writing them.
• I really like recommending strong students. Except for the fact that I feel like if I fuck up the recommendations that I will be responsible for ruining their lives.
  
• We're doing a search this year - well, actually two, but I'm only on one search committee. The ad for the search I'm on was only posted like a week and a half ago. We've already got 8 complete apps in, and we could ostensibly hire any one of them. I know this because I've already read the 8, for I fear that as we edge ever closer to the deadline we'll end up with like 800 applications. Damn you, recession job market. Damn you. Damn you, recession job market, who makes a job at my university seem like a plum gig. (Two of our apps so far are from people with tenure elsewhere, and one is from an advanced asst. type person. Note to junior people who think that people with more experience are more likely to get interviews: these were not the best applications I read.)
  
• I heart Michel Foucault, who has something to say about all things that interest me, regardless of my developing intellectual interests.
• Anybody got a recent (successful) statement of purpose from grad school apps for English lit programs that they want to send my way (reassignedtime at gmail dot com)? It occurs to me as I'm trying to advise BES about hers that I've never seen one other than my own (which I no longer have a copy of because I was horrified at writing it, although I suppose it probably does exist on a floppy disk somewhere, though of course, I couldn't hope to retrieve it with any contemporary computing technology, even if I knew where to look for it).
• I'm a little freaked out that BES has decided to include my grad program on her list of places to apply. I think it's a program that would be a really good fit for her, but at the same time, I'm totally wigging that the fact that she's "my" student will hurt her chances. This is an asinine thing for me to wig about, but even Dr. Crazy has her lingering insecurities.
• I'm excited that I'll be able to try to work some back-door connections for BES in her application process, because it makes me feel like I'm fancy and like I'm really a real member of this profession. I have connections! I have people to email! Huzzah!
• Again though, with the lingering insecurities: what if my connections aren't as strong as I think that they are? What if everybody thinks I'm a loser? What if I really am a loser? (Clearly I'm in a place of deep self-doubt. I shall not let this deter me.)
• I just happened upon a pseudo-ex on Facebook, and apparently he's changed his first name (which I love) to the first name (not unlike his real name) of a real-ex. I find this entirely horrifying. Can I just say that he is entirely as beautiful as I always thought he was, though? Ever so much more beautiful than the real-ex whose first name he's adopted? Tragically, he is in Alaska. Though perhaps not so tragically, as he's really tragically fucked up. I nevertheless continue to love him with a love that is pure and true. And through him, I also happened upon his Real Ex whom I loathed when he was my pseudo-boyfriend. She remains hideous, which is some small comfort to me. For I am shallow.
  
• FB called me "sweetie" last night. This is so totally unlike him. Eew. And also, lovely. I must have really been in a state for him to resort to such language.
• Man-Kitty and Mr. Stripey are elegant and ferocious feline companions. They dislike it when I'm working so hard and stressed out. Really, my job should take their needs into account. Mr. Stripey needs a great deal of love, and Man-Kitty resents having to deal with my moods. Seriously.