Monday, February 16, 2009

Sickness, Day Whatever

Well, the antibiotics are having their effect, and I am feeling much better (no more throbbing pain in my left ear and throat is not nearly as sore), but I also had to go out into the world today to procure kitty supplies, and just that small task exhausted me. Well, and I graded all morning. I need to do much more grading, and I need to work on my conference paper that I need to present at week's end.

I hate being so busy and also so freaking out of sorts. It makes me feel crazy, in ways that typically I take out on people who have nothing to do with the things that are actually crazy-making. I'm trying really hard not to do that, but I feel the impulse, and I'm having to use energy to fight it. I think it's about control. I may not be in control of my schedule, the items on my to-do list, or of getting sick, but I sure can freak out one whomever I please whenever I please to do so! See? That's really screwed up. But perhaps this is a breakthrough, that I'm noticing I'm in a state where I would do that.

I don't know. I think it's about time for some antibiotics and a nap.

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