Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Grading, an Odious Task

Oh yes, it's that time again. In theory, I need to grade 8 papers for conferences tomorrow. Well, actually that's not in theory. The conferences are scheduled, and I have to have those 8 papers graded for those conferences. I've graded two. But do I need to grade the rest of those papers tonight?

Devil on Crazy's Shoulder: Oh, Crazy, don't grade those papers tonight. You will be more efficient if you put it off until tomorrow morning.
Angel on Crazy's Shoulder: Don't listen to that Devil, Crazy! He lies! He lies!
DCS: No, Crazy, listen to me. Grading expands to fill the time available. If you wait until tomorrow morning, you will whizz - I say, whizz - through those papers!
ACS: No! You will oversleep and then you will freak out and then you won't really read the papers carefully and you'll inflate the grades because you won't feel comfortable giving them the grades they deserve!
DCS: Wow, ACS, you don't really have any faith in Crazy, do you? I know that I believe that Crazy would never be such a slacker. She will wake up at 5 AM!
ACS: Do you even know Crazy?
Crazy: Hey, ACS, I resent that!
ACS: I'm just telling it like it is. I know the truth hurts, but just because I'm an angel doesn't mean that I'm here to make you feel all warm and fuzzy and loved.
DCS: I love you, Crazy. And I believe in you. I think that the negativity of ACS is really bringing you down. And in the frame of mind you're in, how can you really be objective and assign students the grades that they've earned on their papers? I mean, won't you in your current cranky mood punish them unfairly with your poison red pen?
ACS: Are you kidding, DCS? Haven't you even glanced at those papers? I mean, the assignment required abstract thinking. They deserve a reality check about what that means!
Crazy: God, you two are exhausting.
DCS: See, that's why you should call it a night!
ACS: See, that's why you should stop procrastinating and get busy grading!
DCS: You're such a kill-joy, ACS. How about a compromise?
ACS: There are no acceptable compromises!
Crazy: But what about -
ACS: Don't you try to smoothe-talk me, Crazy! I know what you're going to say! You're going to say that you can finish up two more and then do the rest in the morning! Not acceptable!
Crazy: Why, ACS, that's a great idea! I'd never have thought of that!
ACS: But I didn't mean -
DCS: I like the way you think, ACS. You may not be so bad after all.
Crazy: Well, if everybody's in agreement.
ACS: I really -
Crazy: Shut up, ACS.


Leslie M-B said...

Teehee. I totally have wrestled with that same angel and devil.

BikeProf said...

What's my devil doing on your shoulder? That's what I hear all the time.

MommyProf said...

I would have done the split the difference program as well.

Dr. C said...

I'm so glad to see I'm not alone in this!