tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post114372888850337186..comments2024-01-28T03:35:51.182-05:00Comments on Reassigned Time: The DateDr. Crazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457967076373916629noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143768126327429852006-03-30T20:22:00.000-05:002006-03-30T20:22:00.000-05:00Just to clarify - I never said I wouldn't date any...Just to clarify - I never said I wouldn't date anyone shorter than me (in fact, I did, for two years before coming to grad school) BUT...for me it is a factor in the overall attraction package. Sometimes it doesn't end up mattering (and as Crazy says, it's more about overall carriage), but if I had the option, taller than me is good.negativecapabilityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08014108944008633157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143765841064688912006-03-30T19:44:00.000-05:002006-03-30T19:44:00.000-05:00Jo(e) - you know, I wonder whether the height woul...Jo(e) - you know, I wonder whether the height would matter if I felt more confidence coming from him - which was what I meant when I said that I was focusing on superficial things rather than the thing that really bothered me, which was that I felt so in charge of everything. The truth is that I've gone out with guys who are exactly the same height as he is, but who seemed a lot bigger, if that makes any sense. Part of this is physical, but part of it is just how one carries oneself.<BR/><BR/>Chris: right on about the ripping off of the bandaid. That's generally my approach in these situations :) In fact, I knew something was wrong last night when I started describing the series of break-ups that I initiated in my early-to-mid twenties with people who weren't technically my boyfriends.... I think perhaps this was foreshadowing....Dr. Crazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12457967076373916629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143765120668818152006-03-30T19:32:00.000-05:002006-03-30T19:32:00.000-05:00I hate to add a dissenting opinion here, but I fee...I hate to add a dissenting opinion here, but I feel like I am missing something. <BR/><BR/>How could his height possibly be that important? <BR/><BR/>That just seems really unfair to him.<BR/><BR/>When men say things like, "I wouldn't date a woman who is taller than me," I always think they are being sexist.jo(e)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01488562158252331555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143741475282161632006-03-30T12:57:00.000-05:002006-03-30T12:57:00.000-05:00i don't think you're being overly judgemental--you...i don't think you're being overly judgemental--you really do need to figure out the chemistry here (or lackthereof). good luck with the others!gingajoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01356643079413822527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143738479444347552006-03-30T12:07:00.000-05:002006-03-30T12:07:00.000-05:00If you want to be "just friends" here's how you sh...If you want to be "just friends" here's how you should handle the situation: You have to rip the band-aid right off. Quick and painful. That's the only way to do it. <BR/><BR/>Don't dilly-dally around. Just say to Chemist, "Chemist, you're a sweet guy. I don't really feel a romantic connection so much as i feel a friendship connection with you. Let's be friends." <BR/><BR/>Of course, once you utter those final three words, you may never hear from him again. But that's life. Not all relationships last until "death do us part."chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09474897835570476116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143738069922022982006-03-30T12:01:00.000-05:002006-03-30T12:01:00.000-05:00I sympathize with the size thing, and have in the ...I sympathize with the size thing, and have in the past beat myself up over being superficial in this respect - I have the same desire to not tower over/overpower physically, which is difficult because I'm 5'7" and also "a big girl." It's nice, when you've always been the "big girl" to...well, NOT be for awhile. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I also agree with Powerprof. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. Doesn't really matter why, 'cause you can't talk yourself into feeling it anyway.negativecapabilityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08014108944008633157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143737940952070612006-03-30T11:59:00.000-05:002006-03-30T11:59:00.000-05:00:) Thanks for all of the support, my peeps. Here...:) Thanks for all of the support, my peeps. <BR/><BR/>Here's the thing re: "wouldn't it be better to meet sooner?" question. I think that what I've learned is that there needs to be a happy medium between getting to know one another via email and phone and then meeting. Things went on a bit long with the Chemist, but it wasn't to be helped because he was out of town for like 8 days right at the beginning, and then I was a spaz... I think in the future I would like to email, and then have a MAXIMUM of two phone calls, and then meet. Had I talked on the phone with any of the previous guys I've gone on dates with, I never would have gone on the dates. Thus, I think the getting-to-know-you phase is crucial. Yes, it's a time investment, too, but at least it's a time investment that's on my terms and that doesn't require me to perform like a trained seal.<BR/><BR/>I've done the thing where you don't get to know one another at all and then go on the date, and that is HORRIBLE and v. awkward - at least in my experience. At least with this, I know that I do like him as a person, and I would like to be friends with him, and I would like to find a nice sweet girl who's about 5'2" to set up with him. This is all positive. If we look at my three dates before this, I've got nothing that positive to say.<BR/><BR/>Also, again, I am going to give this at least one more chance, as I may be being overly judgmental after only one meeting. I don't think so, but I think it's important not to nix the whole thing on one impression.Dr. Crazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12457967076373916629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143735126021284922006-03-30T11:12:00.000-05:002006-03-30T11:12:00.000-05:00I've had dates like that, too. Perfectly nice, bu...I've had dates like that, too. Perfectly nice, but nice doesn't make your toes curl. Hold out for toe-curling.EmmaNadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11813648613912843721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143734903846130002006-03-30T11:08:00.000-05:002006-03-30T11:08:00.000-05:00Wouldn't it have made more sense to meet him from ...Wouldn't it have made more sense to meet him from the beginning? All that emailing is not less effort than a date.drsqueezehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07391452872314910166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143734457419746332006-03-30T11:00:00.000-05:002006-03-30T11:00:00.000-05:00Boo.Been working on a chemistry/chemist snark but ...Boo.<BR/>Been working on a chemistry/chemist snark but decided to skip it. ;-) Arent you SO glad that you did the FTF thing sooner rather than later? This way, mild heartbreak and potential friendship.<BR/><BR/>Damn, I wish we'd had you followed with a DVC. This would have been a great first episode of a "Crazy Dates" Webcast show!AAYORhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17732111883355480840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143733807703190062006-03-30T10:50:00.000-05:002006-03-30T10:50:00.000-05:00I completely get it -- if you're not feeling it, y...I completely get it -- if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. I've had way too many dates that were <I>nice</I> yet didn't make me want to continue it. Can't offer advice, I'm afraid, as I'm in the same boat.Tara Kutherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13767941459243718396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143732365750248812006-03-30T10:26:00.000-05:002006-03-30T10:26:00.000-05:00Sigh. Scratch the chemist. (Insert obvious lack o...Sigh. Scratch the chemist. (Insert obvious lack of chemistry joke here). Just stay crazy, hold on to the inner insanity that makes it worth it, that can generate the excitement...and survive the let down.itinerariumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10738368233268695772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143732061791209802006-03-30T10:21:00.000-05:002006-03-30T10:21:00.000-05:00(Sorry I deleted the above comment - was having a ...(Sorry I deleted the above comment - was having a typo nightmare! Here it is again...)<BR/><BR/>Oh, I totally get where you are coming from! Before I got married, I dated far too many guys who were nice, kind, always accepting of my opinions, and who expected me to direct the whole relationship (you hit the spot with the cruise director analogy!). I always found it hard to justify why I didn't want to continue dating them, but, there just has to be a spark, some fire. Niceness alone just doesn't cut it for me. <BR/><BR/>Of course, I ended up marrying someone who's 6'4, outgoing, opinionated and very driven. Whilst this isn't always a walk in the park (sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that he'd just agree with me for the sake or it!), it's always exciting. <BR/><BR/>So, I'm sorry the date wasn't perfect, but do hope you manage to stay friends. Here's to Stavros... ;)Pink Cupcakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13189535908875879313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20099192.post-1143731885153013662006-03-30T10:18:00.000-05:002006-03-30T10:18:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Pink Cupcakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13189535908875879313noreply@blogger.com